For some reason I find scotish voices very attractive
Also, you are not the worest, at best you are an inconvenience, like what you are doing now, you hold so little significane that your only possible saving grace is trying to be less of a nuisance to the average person yet you even failed that much
You are at worest the pebble in someones shoes, on a bad day I would would call you a waste of space and air but in truth, you are the slit discomfort in the day, like the inside of my pants getting stuck in my butt crack or the leftover bitter taste of mild tea in the morning or piece of food stuck in my teeth. You are a fact of the world that the rest of society has to content with
Self deprecation comes off wrong when it seems like the thing you're criticizing is actually important, and that you actually believe it.
So it's funny when the audience knows you don't believe it's important, either because everyone agrees it's not important ("I can't sing on tune to save my life") or if it's a particular example that doesn't matter ("I'm such a bad mom because [something inconsequential])," or if it's a topic that people can see isn't important to you (jokes about being socially awkward, bad at your job, etc.).
If you're in one of those lanes, you can go pretty hard on yourself before it seems to go too far.
I really enjoy how Gotham Chess does it, effortlessly switching between deep self deprecation and very insulting condescension while somehow making it obvious neither of them should be taken seriously.
Kyle Kinane. Super funny guy but his first couple stand up albums were like this. He definitely toned it down as time went on though. His bit about Trader Joe and Trader Jose still kills me.