I genuinely feel like I wouldn't live that differently even if I suddenly became ultra-wealthy. Am I kidding myself?
I genuinely feel like I wouldn't live that differently even if I suddenly became ultra-wealthy. Am I kidding myself?
Of course, I'd do all the obvious things, such as getting a bigger house, a newer car, and quitting work, but beyond that, I have no interest in an extravagant lifestyle—or at least that's what I tell myself.
By a bigger house, I mean one typical of upper-middle-class living. I've watched plenty of videos of people touring million-dollar mansions, and they all look too big, open, and sterile to me. I've seen cozier tiny homes than those. And by a newer car, I mean a 2017 model or so instead of the 2007 one I drive now.
Really, give me a nice cottage by the lake with some land and a big garage for all my tools and toys, and I'm all set. I much prefer the idea of "hidden wealth" over showing it off. I'm just kind of worried that I wouldn't be able to live up to my own expectations if push comes to shove, and there's really no way of testing that. Am I just kidding myself here?
I feel the same way about fame. Many people aspire to become successful YouTubers or such, but the idea of people recognizing me on the street sounds awful.
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I know a guy who's worth over 10 and probably closer to $50 million. He still lives in the same house that he did when he graduated university. He drives a 10-year-old car and his son who is one of my best friends drives the car that he had before that as a handme down.
Some people flaunt it. Some people build it quietly.
This gentleman that I know has bought both of his son's houses cash so they have no mortgages. He owns a million dollar cottage on a beautiful Lake and another property on the panhandle in Florida. You would think that he's on social security though if you just saw him bumbling about his yard.
People don't really comprehend what being wealthy is like. We imagine the high-rollers table in Vegas, or sailing a yacht in some Caribbean paradise.
Usually it just means being able to fix your car when it needs repairs. It means taking a vacation and splurging on dinner out without going into a lot of debt. It means hiring landscapers and house cleaners to do the upkeep that two-income families don't have time to do. It means having kids without going completely bankrupt.
It's actually kind of sad that these things are not possible anymore if you aren't rich.
That's not wealthy though. That's maybe well to do or upper middle class.
Wealthy is your children not having a mortgage and also having a trust fund.
You might want to sit down, because you're not going to believe what you have to earn to live the life I described. We're talking top 2% of families.
I'm happy to admit that I live the life that you described. For the most part. Big house and a desirable neighborhood. Couple of six-figure jobs. Couple of nice cars, at least one warm vacation every year and another one to visit family. Kids educations will be fully funded by the time they're 18. Registered savings accounts are nearly maxed out and will be by the end of this year. The house I grew up in was a single parent home that went through bankruptcy when I was a young teenager, so I'm quite familiar with the other end of the spectrum and I'm putting plans in place to avoid ever ending up there.... While still not thinking twice about picking up $1,000 dinner, tap while out with friends for a celebration. Balance as possible if you're willing to sacrifice some of the shiny things that people seem to want these days.
I'm grateful for our fortunate position. When I look around I see people living lives quite a bit more extravagant than ours and I don't quite understand it, but I'm more focused on building my family's future. So I keep the blinders on and keep doing what seems to be working for us. I'd suggest more people do the same and that would involve spending less time on sites like this.
You should still recognize that you are in the top 2%, and are wealthy. Poorer people look at what other people are spending money on because it's unfair that so many people can't afford the basics. You have to look around to understand the situation. You sound like you don't other people looking at you... trying to downplay your weath as "well-to-do" or "upper middle class", which we all know are euphemisms. It's ridiculous that you would think of yourself as not wealthy, but also not think twice about a $1000 tab.
Nah man, redefining things doesn't work at all. I'm not wealthy. I'm pretty firmly middle class based on just about every definition of middle class that's available to any sociologist on this planet. People ignorantly seem to think that middle class is tied to your salary or household income which is not the case.
I've got no problem with people seeing me living the life that I live. I grew up in a twice broken bankrupted household and I'm pretty damn proud of what my partner and I have been able to achieve. I live a pretty comfortable middle-class life and I try to help uplift the people around me so they can do the same.
I look around me and I see people struggling to achieve the middle class lifestyle that I'm grateful that I have but the fact that parts of society are falling behind doesn't by default make me wealthy. If I were wealthy I wouldn't have a mortgage or a host of other things that are currently saddling me financially. The people who can be categorized as wealthy are those who don't need to work for a living and whose capital sustains them.
You might not agree with me but that doesn't change. The facts are reality surrounding our individual financial situations.
You are literally amongst the wealthiest people and are trying to create your own categories. Not working on me, and you barely seem like you're convincing yourself.
If I were wealthy I sincerely doubt I'd be driving my broken down Ford but you tell yourself whatever you gotta to alleviate your feelings of failure.
You're telling on yourself here ... you think wealth is associated with success. I think success is when a society has taken care of everyone. You think I am just critical because I am jealous? I don't want your lifestyle, I want for everyone to have what they need and not live in excess like you do. I am critical because you downplay your privilege and then look down on others. Conservative, bootstraps way of thinking. You are benefiting from a system that requires impoverishment of other people, and you aren't even willing to name your place in that system.
If your lifestyle is as you claim, then driving a broken down Ford sounds like a choice whereas for others, it would not be. If I were seriously concerned about my broken down car, I would not pick up thousand dollar tabs. And earlier you tried to gloat about having a couple of nice cars, going on vacation, living in a big house? One moment you're bragging about your wealth, the next you are downplaying it. Dumbass. You are avoiding critical thinking because you know it makes you look bad.
I'm not telling on anything by being honest with you. I can't afford a new car right now. In 2 or 3 years. I'll have saved up enough to be able to afford one, but right now it's simply not in my budget. I also can't afford the kitchen renovation that I have planned. Can't afford a lot of things that you seem to think the wealthy people can.
I can't afford them because I'm a pretty firmly middle class household that can afford some of the nice things in life but not without working for them. Like the wealthy are able to. At no point am I downplaying my privilege. I've said a number of times even in these posts how fortunate that I am. That you think admitting to going on a vacation is gloating just reinforces your jealousy. We budget to be able to take a vacation. I read the other week that over 30% of Americans take multiple vacations per year. By you're jealous framework, you're claiming that they're all wealthy, which is obviously an absurd thing to say or position to take. I'd chalk much of my fortune up to the fact that I'm not a moron with my money running around charging my life on a credit card, like the vast majority of people that you see around you today. I'm not benefiting from the exploitation of others any more than the manager at a McDonald's is. I get paid for the work that I put out. I don't get paid for other people's work and I don't get paid from real estate holdings or investments or any of the other wealth creating vehicles that the wealthy in our society utilize, if I had the ability to I certainly would but seeing as a middle class those avenues to earn are not available to me.
You're accusing me of lacking critical thinking when you apparently don't have the ability to think critically enough to budget your own life or to think critically enough to put yourself in a position where your paycheck will allow you to live the middle-class lifestyle that I happen to be able to live right now.
That you think my understanding my place in the social hierarchy is an attempt to make me look bad. Really demonstrates your lack of ability to think critically your poor emotional intelligence and your lack of overall social context...... Which probably at least in part explains why you're jealous of someone who's living a middle-class lifestyle and probably why you'll live in poverty for the rest of your sad life. Crabs in a bucket.