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God is all powerful, but not powerful enough to preserve his own inspired writings... or talk to anyone plainly because, ugh, why would they create language then stoop so low to use it... I mean they are so busy with those cosmological constants and quantum fields and all. How could they possibly have the time to act like sane reasonable people, or write down any of those ontological and undisputable fundamental building blocks of the universe.
God waited 14 billion years until humans appeared. And then he waited another 200,000 years until finally revealing the one and only true religion to them. And he gets really upset if you play with your wiener. Makes perfect sense.
Although god gets upset if you play with your weiner, it becomes okay after you tell your priest about it...but the forgiveness doesn't stick. You have to tell that priest after every time to be forgiven.
/Catholicism
Gee, I wonder why that is ...
Now I'm wondering, if your priest plays with your weiner for you, does god consider that instant forgiveness or do you still need to see your priest in confession? Does it count if he hasn't confessed to another priest? What if those priests played with their weiners together? If all the priests are giving each other handies, is there no forgiveness for anyone?!
There are no losers in catholicism, only wieners.