Got one off Amazon for $35....wifey's like, "meh"....I say, "30 days, you'll wonder where it's been all your life!"....8 days later, wifey, "When I go at work, I wonder why they don't have..."
Naw buddy it's like an attachment onto your existing toilet. You can even get one with hot water for just a lil more if your toilet is close enough to the hot water inlet to the sink.
To be fair, I honestly don't know the size of your toilet, but I would be rather surprised if it's such a nonstandardized size that you couldn't find a cheap bidet to put on there.
That said, you seem opposed to the very concept of being able to mount a bidet so I think that's your biggest barrier to a cleaner anus.
Hard to say. I like to lean forward and to the side, lifting one butt cheek off the seat and then I do sploosh with relatively much pressure.
One mistake I've made at first, is to be a bit overzealous with the wiping. In order to be clean, you only need the outside of the sphincter to be clean. Trying to clean beyond there is rather pointless, as that's the inside of your rectum, where your body literally stores shit.
But with toilet paper, you can obviously reach beyond that, which will return a stained toilet paper and make it look like you weren't clean yet.
I guess keep wiping then. About a month since I installed our bidet and the only time I used paper after about the first week of checking, is at work. And yeah, my asshole is wet after I spray, but it is not like there is water pouring out of it or anything.