Meh burger

I'll have the burger whose contents are stacked too high to eat comfortably and spill out when you try to bite it, please

• Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer

• Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper

• The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through

• Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers...all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR

There's a bar here with that aesthetic. They do serve ok burgers at slightly reasonable prices, but the secret is to become friends with the cooks. Then tell them that you don't care what the upcharge is, but you want them to make you the burger they'd want and to have fun with it.

Now I can go in and say "Tell them TexasDrunk wants whatever burger they want to send out" and 9 out of 10 times I get a burger that's delicious (and sometimes insane). Usually they just charge me the regular burger price.

I don't do it often, but I got good friends and good burgers out of it.

The best burgers are found in places that look like you have to bribe a health official to get a barely passing grade

I went to a place like this once. Had a bison burger (?) and it was avtually fucking delicious. The fries were just "fries" but they weren't bad in any way. Above average in flavor and consistency.

I'm guessing most places like this are garbage and the one time I went, I got lucky.

So the city I live in has a few of these and they're some of the best burgers in town, for fairly reasonable prices.

There's a fucking war on here for the best burger and I'm so happy for it. We don't fuck around with burgers.

They're so good and reasonably priced that the first time I saw this meme I was a little confused. Like yeah the aesthetic is kinda lame but that doesn't change the food. Maybe the stools aren't comfortable but like, there are regular tables. Like what's the problem??

Then I went to another city.

My friends, I am so, so, sorry. You don't deserve this. Good burgers aren't hard, they're really not. Just stay home, invest in a griddle. Even if it's just a small one for your stove top, you can make better burgers at home. Make friends with a local butcher, he won't steer you wrong. I don't know what caused that trend but I know the only way to stop it is to stop going.

The only good thing is that most of those places have some sort of black bean or veggie burger.

Broke: We can offer you our truffle fucked nothingburger with garlic ass for $20 dollars with every single fry costing a dollar extra
Bespoke: falafel shawarma $3, yoghurt or hummus, boss?

And the opposite of this, if the menu is plain text and pictures of food that were taken with a digital camera from 2009 then its going to be fantastic

Funnily enough, I'm Spanish and the meme is somehow also accurate here?

I hate the "EAT" sign. I came here for food please don't be so demanding about it

+ chef wearing black gloves

Worst place I ate brought the raw burger to you next to a boiling hot slab of rock. I was expected to cook my own burger the way I liked it. Well fuck you, I'm paying you to cook my meal. Plus it just seemed disgusting to have raw meat at the table anyway

And its name is always like some suburbanite place: The Yard, Patio Patties, Culdesac Restaurant & Bar

remember r/WeWantPlates ?

Sed Porttitor isn't even that good, I dunno why they need it on their menu a half a dozen times.

Facts. We have a burger place like this that people love for some reason, but I swear they most the mid-quality burgers for $20+. It's crazy that people keep going there, imo.

Copy + paste small business tyrant investment. Like a ghost kitchen. They all just copy each other because it returns a consistent profit.

There is probably some kind if grotesque item in the menu as a "draw", too. The Tower of Cheese. The Bacon Bun. The [town name] challenge, a dish made of 34 kinds of flesh. Get in here, techbros! Get your grub.

This is absolutely not true.

Sometimes it's a very mediocre $8 taco.

Don't forget the smugness. These types of places always have such smug staffing, like they think they shit gold or something. It's like bitch please, you're demanding someone pay a day's wage for you to fuck up ground beef. Fuck off out of here with your foofoo bullshit burger.

Seen this meme tons of times and I never noticed the menu was lorem ipsum

look. imagine a place where the burger is not native. where the best burger you can hope for is... adequate.

imagine, if you will, a country shaped like a schnitzel.

in the twilight zone.

The beer menu is on a chalkboard all the way across the bar and you can't see it.

I can already hear the stomp clap music

Portland 2005, except it's damn near impossible to get a bad meal in Portland. Best food I ever had consistently in my life.

[edit] Oregon

"We put three different kinds of rubbery bacon on top of it and you better believe we're charging you a premium for every one"

Permanently Deleted

“In-N-Eh”

I wouldn't judge a book by its cover. Following aesthetic trends is just being savvy, it's not necessarily compensating for something.

Burgercore!

The most mediocre dining experience (for the money) I've ever had was at a restaurant called "Smallwares." Emphasis on small, it turns out. Case in point, we ordered duck breast, which cost a fair bit. I was picturing at least a fair amount, but it was the smallest smidgen slivered up with a dollop of sauce. It was the same with every dish, high prices for not much food.

Sure there were other places that had worse food. One remote dinner lacked any fresh food, but you can't really help that when you're in the middle of nowhere. But never have I felt like I was being fed by Famine from Good Omens.

SED PORTTITOR

The burger is fine, but the sides are usually amazing.

A quite big Döner Brand in Germany(Berlin Döner) has shops like this and they aren't even that bad. They aren't outstandingly god but also not bad. Its maybe a bit overpriced for 6€(at least in my city it costs 6€).

But where else do I get my malt vinegar fix?

true, but even mid burgers are a fave from where i’m standing

There was a place like this near my old work and my boss would often offer to pay. I naturally ordered a couple mediocre burgers and overly seasoned truffle fries with sage for some reason.

Thankfully there was a similar coffee place next door, but that's a good thing in their case (that coffee was fire)

Holy shit people. You are all incredibly whiny bunch

Maybe I am spoiled by my three good burger places in one kilometre radius from my house one of which declared me persona non grata