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god is a goat, and if you take it to the right place, it will make you a baby god
The baby god event was never officially released, so this actually didn't canonically happen.
a 10 year old destroys the yakuza (and then another 10 year old destroys its remnants a few years later)
Red is stated to be 11 in the RGBY instruction booklet. People often get this mixed up because Ash Ketchum is 10, but they are not the same person. Gold's age is never stated.
a random guy with a bad accent in a brown trenchcoat is the sole police officer seen in the series. no i mean literally, there ARE NO OTHER POLICE it's just him, he keeps showing up. All the others you might think were police are just security guards.
Officer/Policeman/Police Officer is a recurring NPC trainer class throughout the series, first seen in gen II.
The baby god event was never officially released, so this actually didn't canonically happen.
It was released. The Azure Flute and the event where you meet and battle Arceus in the Hall of Origin in DPPt was indeed never released, but this is different.
Arceus had various distributions in 2009-2010; the US one was at Toys R Us for example. Trading that legit Arceus to HGSS and then bringing it to the Ruins of Alph triggers this event which takes you to a special location where you can choose one egg of either Dialga, Palkia, or Giratina.
Oh cool, so goat god optionally gives you baby Satan.
That's how I got my baby Giratina. But then I put it on my Pokewalker, and now it's level 2 and practically worthless.
'Goat god giving you a baby god is apocrypha' doesn't sound any less weird.