So I found out the bugfuck heatwave in the Midwest is called 'corn sweat'

Evidently this swampmoding swelter is a byproduct of late-Summer corn perspiration or 'corn sweat'. All I know is the air hurts and I don't have no A/C. Time to see what slop they're slinging at the cinema!

E: update I went to play cards at an air conditioned bar with my friends and now I got two box fans pointed at me.