I've legitimately had these thoughts. Being raised amab and isolated af growing up, finally found people I legitimately trusted and loved, for the first time after I was 24. The emotional shock was large to say the least.
"Wow, this is what some other people's every day life is? Truly being able to relax around loving people their whole life? That's so much bullshit."
The first time I hung out with other women and felt included, I was asked how I felt. All I could say is that I felt "Happy." I just hadn't felt that way before. Despite being in my 20s, I had never been so happy existing with others.
It took time to recognize that it was because I wasn't dysphoric about my social existence for once. I didn't feel like a gross outsider. I felt like one of them. It hurt when I had to go back. Finally feeling right made feeling wrong again so much worse.