Some jerk outside the city blew a trumpet and the big wall fell on my house! Is there any legal recourse I can take?

Have you tried cutting your foreskin off and burning it to appease said Jerk? I'm told they like that kind of sick stuff. Failing that, he's partial to blood magic and or ritual killings.

Whatever you do though, don't make bronze images of him as a bull and try to appease that instead, like we used to do for hundreds of years. He hates that kind of thing now days and we all have to pretend we didn't used to do that.