Does limiting things you actually enjoy help?
Does limiting things you actually enjoy help?
So my entire life has been extreme boredom, followed by finding a book/videogame/hobby I find interesting, doing nothing but that for awhile, then never touching it again.
I'm debating maybe trying to make a rule of not doing something two days in a row. Like I just found a video game I liked and played it all day yesterday and today, and while I still wanna play I already feel its shininess wearing off.
Curious if anyone else has tried to space out their dopamine buttons and if it helped. So maybe like instead of just playing the same game tomorrow, I'll need to try other games, or maybe try to find a new book series to hyper focus on...
When it come to games, I have tried the "don't binge" approach and all that happens is that I quit it after one day rather than a week. What I do now is try to be ok with the fact that, with very rare exceptions, I will not finish a game.
Yeah I've considered the idea of coming to peace with how my brain works. Which does just mean that sometimes I'll play one game/do one hobby for a while then drop it, but maintaining a strict regimen for consuming said hobbies is as exhausting as recovering from hyper focus.
I have learned to just accept it and go with the flow. If I get bored and move on, that's fine. If I never go back to the thing I paid a lot of money for, that's fine. Making rules about these things for myself never increased my enjoyment or happiness.
No. There needs to be more hours in a day.
Yeah it's more feasible that I break the time-space continuum than actually consume my finite time responsibly.
I hear all the electrons are the same electron moving forwards and backwards in time!
Yes but in a different way... More about limiting the activity than the time doing the activity.
Basically I find things WAY more fun if I limit the amount of features in the fun thing. For example, if my favorite drink/food store has 10 options instead of 100, then I make a decision easier and enjoy it more since I don't dwell on it. Or when Minecraft introduced infinite world generation, it became harder to play longer because the possibilities were too overwhelming. Or if someone says "let's hang out, where do you wanna go" then it is more stressful and more pressure than "let's hang out, choose between these 3 places".
In these examples it's all because of the overwhelming choices being reduced into processable pieces, which means I can stay enjoying the dopamine from doing the activity way faster.
The dreaded Analysis Paralysis!
Same here. Open world game with tons of side quests? I’m exploring every little cave & finding those Korok seeds. Add in normal life breaks & I stretched out Zelda BOTW for years, even with lots of all day playing sessions. That $70 cost of the game became next to nothing if I were to calculate some cost-per-dopamine value
Don't try that. You gonna end up totally forgetting about that game and when you think you should try it already, then you cannot find the drive to do so.
Totally not thinking about the games I started and said to myself "I will continue tomorrow" >_>
I use things I enjoy like that as a treat.
So, let's say I have 4 hours of free time after work and before bed, and a bunch of things on my ToDo list.
Then I make a deal with myself that I work on my ToDos for 2 hours and then play that video game for the remaining 2 hours.
That way I am reasonably productive and limit my gaming to a level where I won't burn out.You can make deals with yourself? My self is a Terrorist that cannot be negotiated with.
I've actually lent completely in the other direction. I used to be more like you described, and I'd get annoyed and frustrated with myself when I started losing interest, or I'd get anxious wondering what I would do next. Now, I try to get every bit of enjoyment while my hobbies are still interesting to me, knowing I'll be moving on soon.
I guess that's what I've been doing, but I just never seem to find things fast enough so spend so long bored between. So guess I either need to learn to find things that are interesting faster, or spread them out.
I'd like to hear how it turns out.
I rarely get a chance to spend hours paying games anymore, and when I finally do get the chance, I can't ever decide what I want to get into. I'm definitely better off focusing on one thing and milking it dry until something else grabs me. My son will flip through games for 15-30 minute intervals. He'll start up a new Fallout playthrough, shoot some things, and next time I turn around, he's fighting a boss in Elden Ring.
Haha yeah that's how I am most of the time. But occasionally I get the FOCUS on a thing and feel the urge to finish the thing RIGHT NOW.
just make sure you slow down and savor it
For games specifically, I have to binge or I'll never go back to it and next time I wanna play, I have to start over. Books or TV shows etc. don't have the same problem as they are more passive consumption than a game.
Ooh good point.
Thinking on which games I've been able to come back to consistently, are ones with lots of replay value or are designed to make new runs.
Like Stellaris, you start over all the time for different experiencs.
100 hour rpgs where every play through is identical? Never been able to replay those.
Is this an ADHD thing? I swear I relate to like 90% of the stuff I end up seeing on here but I've never been diagnosed.
I absolutely get addicted to like anything I enjoy and go full bore into them and then never touch them again or at least not for a year or so.
I mean lots of things are ADHD things, that alone are completely normal! It's usually the combination or severity of things that lead to something being considered that needs treatment.
If you find that you are struggling to take care of responsibilities or enjoy life, I always suggest talking to doctor/counselors. Could be ADHD, could be need coping mechanism, could be something else. IDK. But life should be enjoyed and doing adult responsibilities shouldn't feel like ripping out finger nails (so I've been told)
On surface I'm type of ADHD who always picks a new hobby and forgets old one. However, I have somehow managed to do it in a way that it always goes full circle and I come back to that first thing.
It has been slow, but after enough time I'm suddenly rather good at several things.
If I feel passion towards something, I just go with it if possible. Only exception if doing something non productive goes on too long, like months spent just gaming, then I need to do sometimes about it.
Usually that's not the case cause I get bored.
You can try to write yourself a „dopamine menu“ with stuff you know you generally like. This may at least help bridging the boredom gaps.
I actually just watched that video!
And yeah I'm basically wondering if I need to force myself to try and order different things off it to try to keep myself from burning things I like.
Obviously I have no idea if this works for you, but for me, it comes down to this:
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The Cycle of Hobbies I jump from one to another without any schedule or plan. Oftentimes I take interest in a new variation of one of my hobbies, but other times I just pick up old projects that (for no apparent reason) are interesting again. But(!) I (by pure chance) have a pool of hobbies that are different enough, which makes switching between them easier.
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enjoy it while it lasts I stopped caring about finishing a video game. I may pick it up in the future (or not) but that does not lessen the enjoyment it’s giving me in this very moment.
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stop it, if it starts to suck I am that I learned to stop reading a book I do not like, to stop watching a series I don’t enjoy or to box a project that becomes to tedious to finish. If it becomes interesting again in a few months or years, I will gladly try it again but if not, it probably wasn’t worth my time anyway.
So long story short:
I burn through hobbies, but I can say with confidence based on experience (and a pinch of hop) that the ones that really got to me will come back eventually.
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For things like playing video games, I don't. I'm okay with switching between games several times in an evening. However, when I'm looking at something to buy I try to recognize when I'm hyper focusing on the thing vs having a long term need/desire for. On those things I try to delay purchasing for a while to let the hyper focusing subside.
So for me it's not really a case of limiting or restricting, but just delaying. I did this recently with a tool for my workshop. I waited long enough to let the hyper focusing subside but also long enough to stumble on an amazing deal on a really nice version.
Yes, doing anything too often can remove it's shine, that's just life I'm afraid. I found my useful line is between media consumption and creation. I can easily immerse myself in either to the point I'll burn out on a game or book to never touch it again - but if I can mix creative work like writing or drawing on some days, games and books on the others, it helps my overall interest and extends my enjoyment of both.