True, somewhat... but on the iPhone, many functions that seem like basic things are tied to Apple's services and cannot easily replaced by selfhosted services. This phone would not work properly anymore.
You can enforce an always-on VPN (for at least ipsec) via an MDM profile. This kind of features isn’t found in the casual user setup options, but there's plenty of knobs to tune in the enterprise profile configurator.
And yes, you can easily install that profile on your phone after.
This is a good question. On your home network, that's pretty easy. On other networks, setting up a VPN that tunnels to your network seems like it should work.
Maybe I’m being stupid but a trivial way to ensure this is just don’t connect it to the Internet in any way. No SIM card. Cut it off from the Internet after setup, and only connect to a LAN with your chosen services all physically isolated from any internet machines.
Remove the SIM card to ensure it doesn’t communicate with a cellular carrier. Then go into the settings for your specific WiFi network, configure IP address manually, and remove the entry for “Router” to prevent it from talking to the Internet
One thing I want to bring up just so you’re conscious of it is WiFi calling.
I currently use Tailscale and a sophisticated setup to route traffic via commercial VPNs. I also do a ton of DNS ad/tracking blocking which Tailscale wasn’t really designed for (and requires a rat’s nest of routing, iptables and the like).
I’ve noticed I never receive incoming calls now even while attempting to send traffic to my carrier’s WiFi calling server (it’s just another traditional VPN server at a technical level) through the nearest Tailscale exit node.
All this is to say, if you want WiFi calling to work you should consider this. I believe it’s the same for Android and iPhone.
As for the traditional VPN bit I kind of discovered this a few years ago when using one of those mobile cellular gateways you can plug into your LAN (I lived in a dead zone). When looking up my current carrier’s WiFi calling server (a different carrier) I realized the port matches the same VPN thing they were doing on the cellular gateway, so I think it’s fairly common for wireless carriers to just use a VPN to get you into their backend.
You create a (self-signed) CA certificate, put its certificate as the client ca in your web server.
Then you can create certificates using this CA that you distribute to your devices, only devices that have a certificate signed by your CA are allowed to connect.
On iPhones and iPads there are several technologies available for monitoring and filtering network traffic. Filter network traffic from the Apple Deployment Guide has an overview of the technologies and their trade-offs.
I have an iPhone and a gl.inet gl-e750 portable cell router, and my SIM card stays in the router. I don’t actually restrict my phone the way you’re talking about, but this gives me vpn to my home network without needing the vpn running on each client device. And if I wanted to block connections to big tech company services, I could do that.
Can never guarantee anything but you got some options for decent security. I've used Tailscale and also Cloudflare with blocking all ips except for my known devices.
In addition to what others have suggested so far, running NextDNS or something similar can add another layer of protection and provide insight into what domains your devices are trying to lookup.