196 @lemmy.blahaj.zone (⬤ᴥ⬤) @lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 wk. ago

thanks for coming to my rule

show transcript

lastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster

scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,,,

Ted Talker

Curated Tumblr @sh.itjust.works (⬤ᴥ⬤) @lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 wk. ago

he's nice but has a weird habit of thanking you for coming

76 comments

Oh, you guys are thinking small.

Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.

The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.
- Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar
  
  "The prefix "from" is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used "the", as in "Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman."
  
  "Working class families just don't get a prefix. That's why there are so many James Burgerkings out there".
- That's how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I'm Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.
- David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.
  
  Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.
No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.
- Timmy Onlyfansson
  
  Duh. Long day.
- That's why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.
  
  Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?
- So he thought, until he met Bobby fudgepacker.
We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?
- yea wasn't he the guy from FTX?
  
  Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.
Peter Unemployed.

Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.
- General Dragqueen 🫡
- Don't forget Martyn Congressman!
- Really enjoyed that (audio) book recently. Nothing really new but well told and an easy listen
Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly
- We call him Little Bobby Tables.
  
  Always. XKCD. Always.
  
  https://xkcd.com/327/
Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.
- Does he wear socks?
  
  No. Jessica Fullstack Developer is also opposed to pants (religious requirement).
Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.
- one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.
  
  also I'm super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤
  
  It's getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion's CEO's name^* ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones' fight to prevent it.)
  
  ^*(his bluesky display name, at least)
Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.
- I'm Karl Projectmanager, and you're ruining my timelines
  
  Hey guys, I'm Jeremy Queaye. Did you get the dozen similar tickets I posted before lunch? I have a few more...
Imagine being the actual John Gamer.
- John Fallout
  
  war doesnt change
Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.

Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)
- That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town's baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don't really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it's shifted now to more relationship based.
  
  Especially, since you may not know their last name if it's a casual relationship.
Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.
Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator
“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”
Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple
Hi my name is Colin Support
María Tiktoker

John Uberdriver

Sam Gamereviewer
- Shorten them and it works
  
  Maria Toker
  
  John Uber
  
  Sam Vèiwer
- John Oovoojaver
Kailey Influencer

🤮
- Influencer isn't a trade name and it will never be, Kailey Advertiser.
- Yosef Tuber
  
  Isha Grammer
  
  Fitzgerald Acebook
  
  Starman Astropod
In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"
I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.
- Dang it and I was hoping you were What Bombs At Midnight.
  
  Surf's up, space ponies! I'm making gravy without the lumps!
Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.
- Omg, that stupid game that was released with the book ate like six months of my life.
  
  What game ?
can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls
The Management clan is huge.

And in 2027 there was a mass culling of the Private-Equity clan, when the revolution declared the entire family outlaw and they were hunted to the last junior.

It was ordained that the name of Private-Equity should be altogether abolished, and that the whole persons of that clan should renounce their name and take them some other name, and that they nor none of their posterity should call themselves Private-Equity or Investor under pain of death
Elon Nepobabyoligarchson.
Imagine Tony Head of Sales and Managment
The names Trent, Trent Shippinrecieven.
That's Dr. Theodore Talker. I didn't receive a 2-hour Cambodian doctorate for nothing.
It is not a last name but it is not at all uncommun to mention your trade when introducting yourself.
James Corbett of the Corbett Report has been referring to Johnny Youtuber for years already.

Thanks for a lovely thread. Scrollering and hollering XD

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