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Microblog Memes @lemmy.world

HootinNHollerin @lemmy.dbzer0.com

3mo ago

Battle of the cheapest

It’s a satire LinkedIn acct

34 comments

How many people on LinkedIn absolutely loved that? lol
- This guy's profile is the shining like in the depths of shit that is LinkedIn. Sometimes the comments are funnier than his posts. There are always people commenting like it's a serious post.
- 42,078 according to the screenshot
- Who wouldn't? This is hilarious

He’s a shoe-in for CFO.
- What’s 2+2?
  Engineer: 4e0
  Mathematician: grabs chalk and begins a proof
  Accountant: what do you want it to be?
  
  the accountant will tell you "2" and then keep 2 in crypto

Oh the friends know. They talk about it between themselves, just too polite to say it directly.
- The friends know and are doing the opposite, £12.38, becomes £12.83 etc
  
  No, no, £12.38 becomes the £22.91.
- That cheap bastard. Make him pay you back in cash!

Bro made 6 cents per day over 5 years LMAO 🤣
The cheapskate's friends meanwhile:

If I had a friend like this, unless they were useful or more interesting than average people, I'd stop inviting them out.
I'll just let that friendship die, that's fine.
This is worse than what my friends and I usually do. We either do completely separate bills, or we trade back and forth who is paying. Nobody quibbles about how much, or how much more this time might be compared to last time. You pay the bill, and next time, your bill gets paid for you.
I take note whenever I'm paying more than once in a row, and if it becomes a trend that I'm paying for everything, I stop inviting people out. I'm not going to invite you out somewhere just to have me pay for it 100% of the time. If I wanted to pay for someone to keep me company, I'd hire a hooker.
- I know ~~it's~~ the post is just a joke, but yeah money sadly is serious biz and beef between friends if things don't feel fair. It sucks but i chalk it up to the hellscape we live in.
  Everyone has their money tics. A long time pal gets pissed if i pull the "whisper the waiter" trick and pay the whole dinner bill for example. For my part, I feel weird about owing people, like they'll hate me if i cant pay my way.
  
  Oh, I'm not joking.
  I have very few, very loyal, very long-term friends. I like it that way. Knowing too many people gets to be problematic.

God damn it Jimmy. I knew it was 1216, one after Magna Carta.
- He orchestrated it!
  
  Electricity buzzing noises INTENSIFIES
- Is there something like r/okbuddychicanery on Lemmy?

Back in my college years, my cheapest friend would always conveniently "forget his wallet" when we were all going out to dinner, a fact he wouldn't reveal until after the bill arrived.
- I had a roommate that took advantage of me like that for 2 years. In the end I kept his security deposit because he cost me so much money
  
  He would do it when we were out in groups, so he could spread it around. Thankfully he stopped being like that when he got older and a little more established.
- That's a Seinfeld episode.

Oh sure, they might not bother raising a big stink about that but I bet you at least some of them will remember. Until one day, when he’s at the end of his rope and in need of a friend, then they’ll leave him hanging.

Try that with a business and see how far you get.
- I tend to transfer a penny or two extra when I'm annoyed with the business, just to fuck with their balance sheets.
- You don't do it to a business.
  You only do it to your friends. Obviously.
  
  "Friends"

I love that guy.

I don't think I'd even notice if a friend did that to me 😅

stonks

34 comments