Why is it considered sexist to ask women to smile?

Because men are "allowed" to look however they want, grouchy, happy or 'keep the fuck away from me'. If a women does it she's got "resting bitch face" or gets told to smile. It's just a subtle way of saying "you don't look right here let me change you". If you kept saying it to guys they'd tell you to fuck off.

Tell us a story of the last time you witnessed someone telling a man to smile because he would look so much better if he did.

I can't, either. That's why.

It's sexist because you wouldn't risk asking a man to smile. It's disrespectful because you don't get to control another person's facial expressions. It's intrusive because you disrupt another person's thoughts with your selfishness. You aren't the centre of the world. Other people get to have their own feelings and since women are people that includes them.

It’s not sexist, it’s threatening.

While you may mean well, the vast majority of times a woman is complemented by an acquaintance or stranger, it’s because that person is trying to hit on the woman.

You might think “shouldn’t that be flattering?” No, it really isn’t. Every single woman I know has countless stories about how they have been harassed by desperate men trying to get into their pants. If you could barely walk into a public place without random strangers harassing you, you’d be soured on the idea too. To further compound the problem, men are on average bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than women.

So as an example, I was out with my girlfriend once, walking down a crowded street. There was a group of people we had to walk around so we went single file. In less than 30 seconds, she already had some shitty man cat calling her with loaded compliments. I shoved some people aside to make sure I was standing next to her again and he shut up immediately. This is just a fact of life for most women.

Men may not understand this because they only very rarely receive random compliments, but it hits very different as a woman.

There is an appropriate time to compliment women, and it’s after you have already built up a trusting friendship. Besides, a compliment means more coming from a friend than a stranger.

Why is how good a woman looks to you more important than her own feelings?

I mean we have countless Reddit stories where someone's dog or grandma died that day, and while groceries shopping someone tells them "hey, a beautiful girl like you should smile".

That's just an a**hole move. You don't know anything about that person. Maybe they're not smiling for a reason. I'd say it is very likely that this might be the case... Otherwise they'd probably already smile... And people keep forcing themselves on other people and telling them what to do. Like smile. When it's really none of their business and very intrusive.

Leave them be. Everyone is entitled to feel. Sometimes people are happy and sometimes they're not. It's not however their job to smile for you.

And if it's a medical condition or they were born with what people call a "resting bitch face"... You're just rubbing it in and be the 500th person who did a negative comment on their looks.

It's not women's job to be attractive.

They aren't there for your viewing pleasure.

They're not for you; they're not a public amenity.

You have no more right to expect them to smile in order to make your surroundings more aesthetic than you have a right to expect them to get their tits out for you to gawp at.

I think it’s because they usually mean “Shut up, I don’t care what you’re thinking about, just be pretty.”

Context matters:

Taking a group photo? Stock photo models? PR? Greeter? - yes, asking someone to smile for a goal is fine

Someone just minding their own business - no, asking them to smile is selfish and just for your personal satisfaction. People don't need to justify to you why they don't feel like smiling. It's rude to demand it of others

Fuck the downvotes. This is no stupid questions!

Its considered rude towards women. Because a lot of men just say it to women to look more attractive or to just looke more nice as if women bare the responsibility to be nice to men or always be attractive otherwise they wont be considered women at all. I think it became like because many men just say it a lot (or many boomers dont know).

The problem lies in wanting women to look better in the first place.

It's considered rude.

As a girl, my job isn't to look attractive to guys. I smile when I feel like it, which happens a lot because I'm happy, but I'd still consider it rude if anyone told me to smile like it was an order. If you're a guy and you wouldn't tell other guys to smile in the same context, then that falls under discrimination based on sex.

/c/NoStupidQuestions

Asks a "stupid" question

-22

Wow, you really played yourself didn't you, OP?

Seriously, wtf is even the point of this subreddit at this rate?

This was posted 4 times, you may want to remove the duplicates.

I would agree that people look better when they smile, but I think that it is considered sexist because women are asked to smile where men are not, in similar situations. I believe that women feel it is controlling, and since it's requested/required of women more often then men, their perspective is that it is sexist.

Would you feel okay with a woman asking you to flex? I would, but if it became something that happened on a regular basis, I think it would quickly become annoying to me.

1. Context matters. That question is rarely asked by anyone that isn’t a douchebag trying to hit on a woman.
2. From my understanding, even when NOT in the context of douchebaggery, it’s a condescending thing to say to a woman. So much of society wants to put women in a box where they’re expected to look pretty, smile more, talk less, and listen to big strong men with their big manly brains. Being told to “smile more” is pretty triggering for some (but maybe not all) women who are tired of dealing with that shit.

Disclaimer: am man, as my username implies.

Because it's sexist to ask me to look better for you

In general it's asking another person to change their appearance to suit your preferences rather than just respecting whatever mood they're in or how their naturally resting face just looks, it's a dick move. Forcing a smile also sucks. It takes some amount of conscious effort to maintain a forced smile and smiling does engage quite a few muscles in the face, about 43 different muscles to make a smile.

Combine all of that with the history of women very much not having any kind of power in our society, and it takes on a more sinister tone when directed at women, hinting at the idea of someone's only valuable because they have a pretty face and it should be pretty all the time.

It's a weird thing to say in general. Would you say that to a man?

apparently everything. Why do women need to "look better"?

Men are not asked that, men were mostly not in customer service jobs that needed to look nice. Men were not attacked for leading men along by smiling at them, after they were told to do so.

https://tlynnfaz.com/stop-telling-women-to-smile

I've never been the sort of person to ask or insist anyone to display a particular expression. But...

At times I've encountered friends, both male and female, that were struggling in life and crying.

Sometimes I would smile at them and say "Hey, you're leaking again"

I almost always got them to lift their spirits and smile, with a bit of a lighthearted chuckle even.

Though not a moment I'd take a photo of, out of respect, it still reminds me how easy it can be to get a friend to smile.

I think you should ask men to smile more (like at the grocery store or gym) and see how it goes. 😉

I don't know if it's sexist but it sure as hell is annoying. Don't tell people to smile if you don't have a very good reason.

It is generally uncouth to tell anyone how to feel regardless of gender. Compel the person to feel through your own words and actions. If you fail to achieve the desired results, change your tact.

Do you have an example?

The only time I can imagine someone asking someone else to smile is when taking photos.

Why do you feel the need to make "suggestions" about how women could look better? Or in other words, why would be of your concern if somebody is or isn't smiling and looking good for you?

You'll notice this behavior often happens with women on the receiving end of the "friendly suggestion" but rarely does it happen with men.

I initially didn't understand the context of the question as I assumed you meant when taking a photo.

Something I watched in my women empowerment group I go too on YouTube called "miss representation"

It's a old somewhat interesting documentary but may help understand.

https://youtu.be/j2IDGRa_kHM?si=sllu-Br9dhUh_pWD

I don't think it's sexist. It's just rude, no matter who you're asking. I'd equate it to someone asking me to dress differently as if it's my job to please them.

I taught my dog to smile. "Smile pretty"and she would bare her fangs for a treat

This, I think, is a stupid question.