IMO people gave Pulaski shit for her, let's be honest, mild criticism of Data. The fans went nuts. If it was a male character it would have been considered just guy talk. The fans-- us --overreacted to her comments on Data. It was no different then Bones and Spock jarring... except Data is childlike. Except he's not. He's an officer.
Yeah but like calling your dog names, it doesn't realize what you're really doing. Queue dissing your dog with Will Ferrell skit For an advanced society it doesn't seem like the way to treat a sentient being even if it has no emotions. At least with Spock and Bones, Spock had his jabs in too and has more expressions than 'yes sir'.
Spock had a very dry sense of humor and enjoyed trading barbs with McCoy. McCoy also genuinely respected Spock despite his comments. The same is not true for the Data-Pulaski relationship. Also doesn't mean that McCoy's behavior was actually acceptable.