Snakes
Snakes
219 comments
-
Like, I really understand where this is coming and I see why it's that way. But I'm also really tired of being seen as a threat just because my way home seems to have some overlap. How do I react to make clear I'm not interested in rape, violence, stalking, whatever? I just want to get home to my dogs, there's no need to prepare your keys to gouge my eyes out.
-
In all seriousness, what are men supposed to do with this besides feel bad?
Or is that the point?
-
what are men supposed to do with this besides feel bad?
Speak up when you see other men being abusive jerks. Use peer pressure to improve the behavior instead of excusing it.
-
what are men supposed to do with this besides feel bad?
Be aware. I am a large, semi-muscular male, if I am walking down the street and there is a woman by herself I will slow down and give her space or cross to the other side of the road. It really doesn't take much.
-
If it's not about you then don't worry about it
-
For some of us, like certain spans of the autistic spectrum, that really isn't a simple ask.
Because we do worry. We do feel empathy. We can't help but feel like we're still being lumped in.
We are already so paranoid from a lifetime of being blamed for every little deviation that it's just more of the same.
-
Fellow Autist here:
We are being lumped in.
I can't tell you the number of times I have gotten into arguments to defend someone's ... non conformity to societally standard gender norms, societally standard sexual preferences, societally standard cisness (?), against some MAGA hat wearing dudebro...
Only for that very person, who was present with me, as I defended them verbally against some asshole, in person...
To then, some months or weeks later, literally scream at me when something completely unrelated to any of that upset them...
... and they throw every single rhetorical device and phrase at me that they throw at actual male chauvanists, and also simultaneously attempt to deride my insufficient amount of stereotypical macho manliness.
And this wasn't a single person doing this.
It has been multiple people, many times, all self described leftists or liberals who all just immediately revert to all the insults they'd hurl at an avowed white neonazi.
Oh well, I guess I am at least used to constantly being misunderstood and shunned from society because of an inherent way that I am different from most people that I have no ability to fundamentally change.
intense deadpan stare to emphasize the galactic levels of irony
-
This is why all my friends are neurologically atypical.
Not to insult any neurotypicals reading this- it's just so much easier when everyone involved expects things to be stated explicitly, and when something upsetting happens, everyone assumes that you didn't mean it, there's been a misunderstanding somewhere, let's explain our side to each other, adjust our expectations, and move forward.
-
I second this. It's a relief to be able to talk with other people and not worry about all the social performances we're expected to keep up around neurotypicals. I can just say the things I'm trying to say and if I stumble with my words, everyone still gets my meaning. Nobody's going to take an innocent comment as an insult, just because my tOnE oF vOiCe was "off." Don't feel like making eye contact? Awesome, I don't either! If you want, we can have a full, rich conversation about our shared special interests, all while looking at literally anything except each other.
-
-
-
The idea is expressed for catharsis. It's only going to push awful people further into caustic masculine behaviors. So it's not actually directed at them, its target audience is other folk who have to deal with their awful behaviors.
As long as you're not unnecessarily approaching strangers in public and you build trust in your personal relationships then you can safely ignore it.
Edit: actually you kind of need to once you understand the problem being described or your mental health will take a severe hit. Talking from experience here...
-
-
"Uhhh, yes ALL MEN, why would you say not all men?"
"Uh not all of them obviously, I don't mean the good ones. If you thought I was targeting you when I said all men are bad, threats to innocent people, and need to be kept out of public spaces and valuable positions. Obviously you are a bad person."
-
That's the same mentality trump voters have
-
No this would be rage bait for trump cult members.
-
-
-
On top of not suggesting that making men feel bad is the point (it's not), this comment seems to provide helpful tips: https://reddthat.com/comment/18247122
What I'd also recommend is being an ally to women in your life already. If women felt more male allyship during the inside/day, then maybe they'd be less fearful of men outside/at night.
-
What I'd also recommend is being an ally to women in your life already. If women felt more male allyship during the inside/day, then maybe they'd be less fearful of men outside/at night.
Been doing that for about two decades now.
I've gotten guys slipping roofies in girls drinks thrown outta bars.
Gotten in many verbal arguments protecting LGBTQ folks against bigots, a few came to blows.
Much more than that as well, all the worldview of an anarchist that fundamentally believes any system, at any level of society, that perpetuates injustice is itself unjust, no matter how it claims to work, worked for nonprofits helping the homeless... particularily women domestic abuse survirors...
... Doesn't matter, I am a white male, dress fairly tradtionally cishetmale most of the time, and I am now very, very used to being prejudged as potentially violent, getting insults thrown at me criticizing a worldview I don't have.
Even more ironic in that I've actually been domestically abused (physically assaulted, if that isn't clear) by a former female partner...
Wasn't ... part of tearing down the patriarchy... supposed to include encouraging men to be ok with being more vulnerable, being ok with crying, not being judged for expressing buried emotions, in a a non threatening manner?
...
Has anyone ever said to you, or have you ever said...
Wow, I didn't realize what I was saying, the way I was saying it, was hurtful to you... I'll try to be more conscious of how my actions affect those around me, in the future?
... And really, truly, mean it?
-
-
-