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the_dunk_tank @hexbear.net

kristina [she/her] @hexbear.net

1y ago

i would like the men in the audience to know that the bar is on the fucking floor

dunk tank because we're dunking on this lady's baby daddy

111 comments

Ever have one of those "How the fuck am I still single, when this is my competition?!" moments?
- Literally every time I read something like this
  But then I remember I barely leave my house due to Covid, don’t really like meeting people or going out anyway, and the last relationship I was in we broke up because she held extremely bourgeois values and was an anticommunist. So sometimes the women are just as reactionary as the men, and also I do myself no favors being a crank shut in. So it actually makes complete sense why I’m single.
  
  Crank shut-in volcel gang, we ~~out~~ in here.
- Personally I think my problem is not replying to texts reliably, women seem to hate that
  
  I know right everytime I go several months without talking to a woman the relationship is basically over
- Almost every goddamn day of my life, but I know the answer is that I don't put myself out there or make an effort to meet new people/potential love interests. I think I would make a good partner for someone, it's just a matter of actually seeking people out. Just sucks that guys are expected to make the first move most of the time and I'm terrible at gauging someone's interest in me.
  
  same. but there is nowhere to "put myself out there" anyways, besides dating apps which don't work
- It sure is very nice to be told that the bar is on the floor, when you still haven't managed to clear it.
  
  The bar is on the floor when you're already dating that person.
- yes :(
- Every fucking day, doubled whenever I interact with cishet men
- Also with jobs
- Just waiting for that special lady who will see me in my stained hoodie (it has a hole and stretched out sleeve cuffs) and walk all the way to the edge of the room to greet me. She will have just come away from arguing with her slightly-less-politically coherent friends and will see that I am reading a book.
  "I'm sorry, is that Grapes of Wrath?" she will ask me.
  I will say that yes, it is, but I'm only reading it as a change of pace from my usual material. When she asks me what my usual is, I will lean in, and say softly, "animal facts."

the older women in my family all resent how well my partner treats me. they keep saying i better be grateful and less annoying or else he will leave me. lol, lmao. we even have a thing where if we are around family he serves me food with the woman while i sit with the men, it pisses everyone off.
- sunk-cost fallacy of putting up with misogynistic chud husbands for decades of their miserable lives didn't get passed down toward her
  I think thats the exact rational
- my mom says that about my bf. claims hes too much of a catch and i dont do enough for him. of course some of this sentiment is transphobia, i do a lot with him
  nah he just loves me the way i am mom
  
  Common Kristina and her boyfriend W
- Some older women one if them a midwife where really surprised about me saying that I really miss my kid and wish I was back home since I started going back to uni. Like "wow modern men really are something huh? Good for you!". Made me real sad for them because they have kids if their own.
  Felt really weird to get lauded because I care about my own kid.
- I have the opposite experience - the older women in my family love and dote on my partner because of how sweet he is! It’s adorable. Also a little sad because I know a lot of them weren’t treated well by their (late or ex, fortunately) husbands.
  
  sigh, now im jealous of your cool family.
- Lol my family is so conservative that they complain that someones husband can cook and do house work 😂 it is an horror in their eyes

I keep hearing about dudes just casually watching porn in non-masturbatory contexts the way I scroll through funny animal videos on Youtube and I just don't get it
- I've done the same thing!
  
  i look at porn and may even edge a bit but not orgasm so as to increase libido for actual sex with my partner later. that said erotica and artwork would work great too, im sure
- I know a guy who literally doesn't masturbate because it "ruins sex" but also is way into porn and watches it frequently. I don't get it either. I utilize porn as a tool but I can't imagine just watching it for watching's sake.
  
  he watches it for the articles
  
  you don't watch porn for the plot ? you might learn a thing or two about mise en scène
- Only guy I know that does this is also friends with porn directors and does communal porn watch parties (and other sex party stuff). So probably not the average example.
  But I can think of few things less arousing than watching porn in a group.
  Edit: I tell a lie, I also had a colleague of mine show a titty model gif and saying 'look at this cool thing'. He is also 20 years my senior. Just kind of confused by that more than anything, how the fuck are you supposed to react?
  
  But I can think of few things less arousing than watching porn in a group.
  Imagining a bunch of hipster auteur types sipping wine and rubbing their chins, furiously writing in their little notebooks, while some Brazzers is playing in front of them all like: "ah yes the artistic choice of spreading the cumshot all across her back with a vibrator is a real insight into the perils of digital nomadism in the age of late capitalism"
  I also had a colleague of mine show a titty model gif and saying 'look at this cool thing'. He is also 20 years my senior. Just kind of confused by that more than anything, how the fuck are you supposed to react?
  "Impressive, very nice, now lets see Paul Allen's titty model gif"
- I knew a guy who would just watch porn in the breakroom at our warehouse job. An otherwise nice enough guy but it was very weird

The nice thing about divorce in this case is that the kids wouldn't have a father in their life anyway.
- you right tho

Obvious bait
- yeah a lot of reddit posts def seem like bait. this sort of thing does happen though
- I don’t think anyone is aloof enough to watch porn during delivery. Watching it while everyone is waiting and the doctors don’t want you interfering with their procedure? Probably if you’re that much of a cumbrain. The more realistic scenario I can see is the husband just standing there awkwardly in the back because he doesn’t want to be ‘disgusted’ by the sight
- reddit

This can't be real. The bit about "everyone acting like it's totally normal" for something that's clearly not, and just the absurdity of the situation makes me believe it's fake. People can't be that shitty, can they? But in the 1% chance it's true, wtf
- "everyone" means "everyone immediately known to me whom i've asked," and there are some fucked up places out there
  
  Like I've known some shitty men but that just doesn't seem like a realistically shitty thing
- When my wife gave birth, the delivery room had a sign saying any sexual comments, said jokingly or not, would result in you being immediately kicked out. I couldn't believe they needed to put up a fucking sign for that at the time so that makes this post a bit less shocking to me.
  
  When one of our kids was delivered the midwife told us of another couple where the man had... stimulated... his partner during labour. The way she told it was that some level of physical intimacy was beneficial to the process but that this particular couple had stepped way over the line of being weird and uncomfortable to the hospital staff.
  
  Couple of years ago I had to listen to a distant relative make the "husband stitch" joke while I was sitting at the other end of the table at a big family event. Legitimately made me angry how much the
  found it funny.
- Assuming the nurses/midwives are trained professionals, I'm going to guess that
  A. They're too focused on their job to pay attention to what some observer is doing on the other side of the room
  B. They've probably witnessed worse behavior from women's husbands during childbirth
- Idk, I could see this being legit. In my life experience I've found that shitty people tend to find each other, kind of creates a localized normality.
- hexbear thinks to highly of people

Having the internet on any pocket-sized device should be outlawed and hundreds of millions of people need to be put into rehabilitation camps.
- On one hand we could just hang the techbro CEOs/execs and burn down their shitty social media servers then maybe the "internet" would go back to being more than the same 3 shit websites?
  On the other hand I don't know if there is a cure for someone that spent 10 years on reddit.
  
  No more LCD screens. Make everything electric ink, like those e-readers.
  LCD televisions are still allowed, but it cannot have more than 256KB of RAM
- Honestly as a person with adhd someone should come and confiscate my smartphone
  
  Its really odd to immediately relate "watching porn at your childs birth" to be an ADHD symptom, in the context of this comment, rather than "the circus box in your pocket is causing peoples brains to melt from the constant circus intake".
  ADHD is basically only a disability in the context of a hyper-atomized society where everyone is responsible for their own tiny kingdom. Its anachronistic to modern "sit down in your box" lifestyles, and probably far more useful in survival or communal scenarios.
  In this theoretical world where phones are outlawed and millions are in rehabilitation camps, I'm going to assume there's a lot of other shit being done, a lot of communal actions and new responsibilities I'd bet, probably plenty of room for our easily distracted asses to use our pattern matching and reward mechanisms to help the community, while other community members tell us to wash our stinky asses because we're too occupied with sorting produce to notice.
  
  I'm sorry the phones are such a liability for everyone else. ☹️ My smartphone is a huge help in dealing with my ADHD. My to-do list and reminders and calendars are the only things keeping my life from completely falling apart.
  
  I mean... It'd probably do my ADHD ass some good tbh.

- That’s really fucking sad. The moment of my kids birth was the happiest moment in my life.
- I gotta get up and do something equivalent.
  In a statement related to birthing this sentence fills me with terror on your behalf
  what do you mean you'll do something equivalent

everyone around me acting like it's a totally normal thing to be WATCHING PORN IN THE SAME ROOM YOUR LABORING WIFE IS IN

mamma mia holy ravioli that's a spicy meat-a ball

- Honey… can’t you take out the trash for me? I’m trying to catch the BIG GAME with the boys!

My wife and I have had two children for both children, I had a bugout bag set up which included a book. Delivery takes hours, it's often quick near the end, but we had to wait through contractions and dilation. It is not normal to watch porn in situations like this - one can argue that pornography, outside of kink shows, or art exhibitions is meant for private consumption.
My jaw is on the floor. Holy shit.
- If you have cool friends sharing pornography with them isn’t weird.
  
  I think it would be fine if everyone there agreed to it but that's very unlikely and would require prior arrangement

Fake as hell, but as a AMAB person I can confirm that the bar is low. I get compliments fairly often by doing what seem to me like normal spouse/parent stuff. These compliments are always from women, which offers a depressing insight into what they've been conditioned to accept

You'd think so, but if you are a single older guy, 'Being nice to people.' is seen as 'Being desperate for attention or interaction', at least until you hang out enough for people to realize 'oh no, he's fine with being ignored he's just a nice guy.' Which is wild to me because I see being an obnoxious asshole as being desperate for attention.
Social situations are completely fucked these days, especially with dating because of the toxic shit that both men and women are taught by 'dating gurus' on the internet. What happens is that people ask their friends advice on stuff, but their friends who are into these types of relationship dramas are getting their advice from people who are pushed on the algorithm, who are almost all people who are complete drama freaks. The amount of normalization (and romanticization) of whacky creepy behavior is wild.

My partner had to get an endoscopy a couple of weeks ago and I sat with her the whole time, holding her hand and talking
The only time she was out of my sight was during the actual procedure and the second she was in recovery, I went back and sat with her until she was ready to have me drive her back home
I can't even imagine doing any less for someone I love

Pretty sure you're fine being on your phone here and there. Especially for the long ass labours that go 24 hours sometimes. The porn is a weird though you can go without that.
- Seriously though, what's even the point of watching porn if you're not pounding off?
  Is it just an addiction?

Seriously, the shit that I get praised for as a man is concerning. It's apparently unusual for a guy to talk about his spouse or baby approvingly, or to say 'thank you' to a fast food worker

Honestly I think it's weird that culturally we've leaned into making birth a weird medical horror date night. Isn't it better to just not be in the doctors' way?
- Isn't it better to just not be in the doctors' way?
  Honestly, you kind of have to be there to make sure your partner is getting the appropriate care, along with providing emotional support for a long, exhausting and painful process.
  
  Valid point, especially in cases like these where a misogynistic doctor might tune out a woman until her partner also goes squeaky-wheel.
- id like my bf to be there for any major surgeries, im definitely ok with him being on the phone in the moments where im not having a hard time tho. tbh would prefer if he put something on for us to both focus on

thats just so fucking absurd though, like I could potentially understand rocking back and forth in the corner watching a movie with sweat running off your brow for a while to cope with the tension of the event, the birth of your child, but porn?!?!?!? What the fuck thats the last thing that should be on someone's mind in a situation like this lmao
- Yeah sitting around for 24-48 hours is gonna involve both people distracting themselves with phones but not helping is wild, porn is absolutely unhinged, like, I don't, what
  
  Do people usually help during birth? I would've expected that that's something the nurses do (as someone who isn't trained for that might do something wrong or just be in the way).

- I could imagine in the intervening hours having something to occupy your time because your partner wouldn't be in constant distress that you, decidedly not a medical professional, would need to help with.
- Hey at least video games put you well ahead of this guy and his porn

"partner" doing a lot of work in that sentence

what in the fuck

- Average length of labor for primapara is 18-21 hours, the part where I have to be in the room is usually under an hour

This guy sounds like a Connor O'Malley bit.

Why? Who actually likes watching people get exploited? It’s not even entertaining.

111 comments