wolf spiders

So I'm like 13 years old, climbing a tree at a friend's house. It's a bit of a shimmy up the trunk, I'm well in the air, hugging the tree. I look down at my feet to make sure I have footing before lifting a hand above my head to reach for a branch.

As my head is going from looking down to looking up, just as I am grabbing the branch and hanging from it, I realize that my nose is almost touching a big old wolf spider mama, fully laden with all her children.

DROP

I never climbed that tree again.

Are they venomous or otherwise dangerous to humans?
- To add to what nougat said, because that’s very much the appropriate answer…
  All spiders are in fact venomous- it’s part of how they feed. Many species, the venom is not harmful to humans, or only very weakly so. (Wolf spiders qualify as “very weakly so”)
  That said, you try keeping a reasonable head when you suddenly come eyeball-to-eyeball with a wolf spiders qualify and her kids.
- https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/wolf-spider-bite
  Seems like it's not even as bad as a bee sting. Spiders are really not very dangerous at all, generally speaking. They're going to leave you alone unless you're fucking with them.
- Nope. Also, if you coax a momma into your hand, you can throw it at your enemies for a spectacular spider-bomb.
- No, they are spider bros. They kill brown recluses, black widows, and other things that are dangerous. Typically do not mess with humans unless seriously provoked.
- When they get spooked they launch their kids everywhere to overwhelm potential predators. Imagine if you squashed a spider and suddenly you were covered in hundreds of tiny spiders?
- One climbed onto my foot while I was brushing my teeth once and I launched myself into the wall behind me pretty hard which hurt. Other than that I don't think so.

Try to keep wolf spiders alive but if you must kill, watch they don't have the hundred babies on their back. If they do....it's nightmare fuel

Had a smoke detector going off randomly one night and I pulled it down only to have mama crawl all over my hand as the babies were running around like maniacs, some casting off. Mama still had a bunch on her when I got the smoke detector outside.
You throw them at your enemies. Spider-bomb!

I remember a bush outside my window with the spider in it. Green body, orange legs... I watched her build a web all summer. One day there was an egg in the web. After a while, the egg hatched and hundreds of baby spiders came out and ate her.

Well this took a turn.
- It's a quote from Blade Runner.
  Lemmy, I am disappoint.
- sounds like sharks and their siblings
You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl.
- I flip it.
  Wait, no, that was the tortoise...

First time I saw this was on the beach late on a moonless night. This was before cell phones, so I had to get close in the dim glow from a street light half a block away. They started sprawling.

My condolences
happened in our garage when a roommate stepped on a fat spider trying to kill it. mini spiders everywhere!

TIL, it's not so much that we step on them as they they throw themselves under our footsteps...

Since spiders get drunk on caffeine, she's doing a Starbucks run.

Given THC the active ingredient in marijuana, the spider didn’t build a web, but a hammock. Where it would lay all day and watch the caffeine spider go.

Walking back home from work at night I cross some fields, I see dozens of them. They are super easy to spot with a headlamp, their eyes shine like tiny glass shards or water droplets.

I found a wolf spider with a bunch of babies in my sink. Scooped it up and put them in the leaf litter outside my house. Normally I never see them inside my house, especially carrying all of the babies.

They are not great indoor spiders but since they are always roaming around they sometimes end up inside homes.

Don't make me stop this thorax

I can tolerate looking at one single spider. Some of them are even looking very cute.

But one big spider with hundreds mini spiders on top of it looks very disturbing 🫥

Aren't they the cutest nightmares you've ever seen?

I'll never forget walking through my grandfathers yard and noticing that with every step I took, I'd see a few dart away from me. Only saw them when they were crossing the tops of flat clove leaves in the grass. Wouldn't have known they were there, otherwise. They were everywhere, out there. Every square foot of grass. Was curious enough to find out what they were and much to my relief, mostly harmless. Still, tresspassers caught inside, get the death penalty.

I've crawled under nearly a thousand houses since then and never got bit, despite undoubtedly being covered by different kinds. Still panic if I catch em on me, but I know I don't have much to worry about here in the PNW. The coast and valley are pretty safe. Rattlers and widows are more common east of the valley.