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news @hexbear.net Shitbird [any] @hexbear.net 4 yr. ago

If I get 100 upvotes on this post i will send my boss a link to my account

I have been making shrek memes instead of working.

my boss just called and asked me if im coming into work today and i said no. he asked if i was planning to tell him that and i also said no.

Uplike and comment with your suggestions and advice for my boss when he reads this.

also subscribe to !shrekland@hexbear.net

Edit: time to nut up

Edit: Fuck it, time to shitpost IRL

Edit 2: texts with Dave are live

edit 3: final message to Dave

10 comments

lol I can't tell if upbearing is solidarity or destructive but I did it because you told me to, comrade.
there is no way this will actually get that many votes and so I am confident in it as a shitpost. If it does somehow happen tho, i am a shitbird of my word.

Edit: fuck
bring back downvotes so shitbird can keep their job
Shitbird's boss go on Chapo
Downvote.
- This hurts coming from u
  
  It's for your own good. Don't do it.
  
  EDIT: Welp you already did it. Good luck I guess!
Dear Shitbird's boss,

Fuck you. If you continue to pay Shitbird their full wage to stay at home making Shrek memes, then I promise on behalf of Hexagonal Bear Network to commute your sentence when you are one day charged and found guilty of crimes against the revolution. Instead of being executed by guillotine in front of an audience at central park in Minecraft, you may instead be privately executed via firing squad in Minecraft. You have one day to decide.

Ever grateful, u/cosecantphi
- He's more likely to see this message here: https://hexbear.net/post/107194

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