Rule

Christian communism. Based.

When you look at the material conditions in which Christianity took hold, it actually is pretty revolutionary. It's a religion based on the rejection of wealth formed in the periphery of a decaying imperialist empire. I'm not religious, but those revolutionary ideas are based as fuck
- Im convinced of the exact opposite. I think that Christianity was a Roman psy-op that was designed to pacify a rebellious occupied Judea. Things that the new testament explicitly instructs worshippers to do include:
  
  Don't seek material wealth or power, those who do so are evil.
  
  Remain meek and nonviolent, don't seek liberation, and after you die you'll get everything you would have wanted on earth and more.
  
  Pool your resources and take care of yourselves and each other, but still pay your taxes.
  
  When Roman soldiers attack you, don't fight back.
- Which is why those ideals were coopted by a religion and taken over by the Roman empire to manage and add authoritarian control by making it a God who said all this with their emperor being the only one able to appoint a pope who could clarify the messages in favor of how they wanted to rule.
- Wondering if the Essenes invented Jesus.
No need to repeat yourself. Christianity is communist and if you're not communist you're not Christian.

this was my favorite veggietales episode

Watching Larry the cucumber and Bob the tomato literally eat the rich alive was a little traumatic as a child, but I've come to appreciate it as an adult.
- That was their adult-oriented, biblically-accurate Christian metal spin-off. It didn't get very many episodes though because some channels didn't check the title and ratings, and aired the episodes during normal kids programming. Then fundies pitched a fit about how metal rots your soul and got the series cancelled.
- Wait what? Are you serious

Nietzsche called Christianity "slave morality" because he saw it as people accepting their poverty with the promise of reward in another life while the "masters" reaped all the benefits on earth.

And he was right, of course.
I mean it's ideals definetly started with people getting fed up over how money was getting aggregated, then it started getting tied to religion and the Roman empire coopted it to control any narratives, turning what was probably the first instance of eat the rich into we shall just wait to be rewarded. Like the turn the cheek phase was not meant to be submissive, it was meant to tell you how to make sure the slave owner when beeting you left a mark which was a way to earn freedom at that point in time. That got coopted into meaning to take punishment and not complain, which is fucking nuts. Guessing it's why there are so many Jesus like story's from that time frame about a dude born from a virgin, walking on water, etc. they tried numerous times to coopt the movement till it worked with Christianity.

I agree with this vegetable

Larry the Cucumber

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.
-Ezekiel 23:19-21

Don't tell this guy about Song of Solomon.

Holy shit that verse goes hard

Try the stories in Judges, thems were tough times and crazy stories. The Old Testament is especially metal because the Jesus story arc hadn't happened yet.

Judges 4:18-22 (NIV)

Jael went out to meet Sisera and said to him, “Come, my lord, come right in. Don’t be afraid.” So he entered her tent, and she covered him with a blanket.

“I’m thirsty,” he said. “Please give me some water.” She opened a skin of milk, gave him a drink, and covered him up.

“Stand in the doorway of the tent,” he told her. “If someone comes by and asks you, ‘Is anyone in there?’ say ‘No.’”

But Jael, Heber’s wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.

Just then Barak came by in pursuit of Sisera, and Jael went out to meet him. “Come,” she said, “I will show you the man you’re looking for.” So he went in with her, and there lay Sisera with the tent peg through his temple—dead.
- TIL that a tent peg through the temple can be harmful, even fatal.

One of the few times I hope Christianity turns out to be true

Based bible?

Ehh sometimes

It has some issues due to translation choices over time that I some cases would be better described as changing things to fit the translators narrative

It it can be pretty based

Of course a lot of self described evangelicals are very much not based
- 1 Timothy would like a word.