Colombia to Sterilize Pablo Escobar’s ‘Cocaine Hippos’
Colombia to Sterilize Pablo Escobar’s ‘Cocaine Hippos’
When the Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar was killed in 1993, most of the animals he had imported as pets — zebras, giraffes, kangaroos and rhinoceroses — died or were transferred to zoos.
But not his four hippopotamuses. They thrived. Perhaps a little too well.
Officials estimate that about 170 hippos, descended from Mr. Escobar’s original herd, now roam Colombia, and the population could grow to 1,000 by 2035, posing a serious threat to the country’s ecosystem.
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‘Cocaine Hippos’
There's a film in that. After all hippos are more dangerous than bears.
Perhaps a mash-up: Cocaine Hippos on a Plane. The Asylum can send me a $3.50 fee now.
I love this idea lmao.
- cocaine kangaroo
- cocaine mosquito swarm
- cocaine geese
- cocaine Apache helicopter
It just works
You could build up to some kind of Avengers team-up: Cocaine Zoo. That'll be another $3.50 please Asylum.
I mean, we currently have:
- Cocaine Bear
- Cocaine Shark
- Cocaine Cougar
- Cocaine Crabs From Outer Space
As well as:
- Methgator
- Crackcoon
- Crackodile
- Cracksquatch
So... Drug Zoo? Huffing Zoo?
In before the movie director sees this and does it.
If you’re reading this, give us lowly plebs a shout 🥺
I am available for a cameo as "hippo victim #1".