Another reason to leave Reddit: I forgot how hostile it can be
Another reason to leave Reddit: I forgot how hostile it can be
I've mostly left reddit and switched to beehaw, but I posted on somewhat of a niche tech-related subreddit today since there really isn't a community for that here yet. And wow, I got instantly downvoted twice and the first comment response was rude and hostile. All I posted was a feature suggestion for software that I thought would be useful and that a good amount of people would like based on other feedback I've heard. This is not the sort of topic that should be controversial or aggravating, and it wasn't like I made an ignorant post suggesting a feature that already existed or otherwise wasn't well researched.
This type of instantly hostile response has happened numerous times on reddit for various different topics, but I just haven't posted for a while, so I forgot just how shitty it can feel. It makes me really appreciate how friendly and respectful the community is here on Beehaw and on Mastodon. People seem to have good faith in one another similar to how the internet used to be in the old days.
Have you had similar experiences with Reddit and similarly opposite experiences here on Beehaw/Lemmy?
I agree with OP and the general consensus of the comments here.
This may sound corny, but all I really wanted to add to this thread is...thank you. Thank all of you for being so kind. So human.
I really hope the positivity of this platform continues on, as it's truly been a bright spot slipping through the dark clouds of the internet.
Rock on, Beehaw. Rock. On.
Honestly, Reddit was really good at the start, but they took too long to react to communities like: FatPeopleHate TheDonald FemaleDatingStrategy The child porn reddits
These people stretched their tendrils or worked around the admins, and eventually, were deeply engrained in reddit.
I'm not even sure why they didn't react immediately. But, I feel like allowing these communities to fester for years had real life consequences too.
I don't like that we can't make communities in Beehaw ourselves, but maybe, it is neccessary until later to prevent communities from showing up
Sometime in the past few years I feel like reddit devolved into an argument fest. It seems like the only thing anyone is interested in is arguing or saying rude or hateful shit in the comments. It turned me off to commenting tbh and even pre-api nonsense made me realize I didn't enjoy reddit the way I used to.
It's nice here still, and hopefully stays that way. Sometimes I'll write something that I realize could be taken as rude and I'll feel like an absolute asshole until I fix it. Like I'm worried I'll upset someone when I didn't mean to... I haven't given something like that a second thought on Reddit in years.
Also if anyone reads a comment from me and I sound like an asshole, please let me know! It's almost certainly not intended, especially anywhere on Beehaw.
Also if anyone reads a comment from me and I sound like an asshole, please let me know! It's almost certainly not intended, especially anywhere on Beehaw.
This kind of energy is why I like it here on Lemmy, and especially Beehaw. Being nice should be the default. On Reddit, I got downvoted so many times just for asking a question in good faith. Then if getting downvoted bothers you, you get mocked further. "It's just the internet, grow up" kind of stuff. Downvoting may not be a big deal to some people, but some don't understand that it can have an effect on your mental health to feel rejected so much. You don't know what other people are going through, having a heavily downvoted comment could even be a last straw for someone. Getting constantly insulted and downvoted can feel like the whole world is against you if you're in a bad place. And a lot of people are in a bad place, especially since 2020. A lot of people are lonely and only have the internet to talk to, and if the internet rejects you too? It hurts. It's not that hard to be nice, especially to people who mean well. I hope Lemmy stays like this as much as possible.
I would also like to be notified if I sound like an asshole about anything. It sounds dorky, but spreading even small moments of positivity really does have an effect on our world. We can see the damage that rage bait has done to people. Little things add up and they do have an effect on all of us. Let's try to spread kindness as much as possible.
Indeed I do. Reddit is specifically crafted to drive continuous engagement. Beehaw, Lemmy, Tildes, etc. are not. My understanding is that the engagement is driven through emotional manipulation. That just doesn't seem to be here and I think it makes people not be so mean.
It's improved my outlook on the world and on people.
It's Twitter, but in longer form.
Everyone's just there to be outraged at something. The whole internet is outrage-bait.
I got told I was "larping" on Reddit once about operating a hiking group. A huge number of my posts were about hiking, and I think I even named my group a few times.
Also continuously got told by Americans that our anti gun laws weren't actually working. In fact, anything suggesting they did was a instant downvote
So happy I deleted my primary account a few months ago. Much better environment here
I agree with you, I gradually became more lurky because the interaction with others was terrible. I hated talking to people.
So far on beehaw it's been overwhelmingly positive, and my dumb questions didn't receive snarky remarks or vitriol. Sometimes, people just want to ask a question and create a discussion. That's mostly me, I'm sure I can find a lot of answers myself, and usually do, but every so often I just want to talk about something with someone, so I'll repeat a question which was asked 2 years ago.
Besides, asking the same question again could lead to a different discussion anyway. It's terrible to tell people to "just Google it". Yeah, they could do that, but its such a negative response. Could easily just say "Hey I found this link on Google, here you go. Try looking into x, y or z and include that in your future searches, let me know if you have any other questions"
I find it interesting that while I don't yet have many posts/comments on beehaw yet, I find myself significantly more motivated to interact with the community than I ever did on reddit. I think it's that the community tends to legitimately want to have a conversation rather than seeking validation or wanted to feel superior to others.
It's terrible to tell people to "just Google it". Yeah, they could do that, but its such a negative response. Could easily just say "Hey I found this link on Google, here you go. Try looking into x, y or z and include that in your future searches, let me know if you have any other questions"
I felt that to the core. I'm a mid-level software engineer (and by no means do I claim to be an expert on anything) and I sometimes find myself getting frustrated with some of the newer developers when they seem to continue asking the same question to me. That being said, I don't think I've ever been deliberately mean to any of them, maybe just short with them if I'm under a lot of stress (which is something I've been working a lot the past year or two).
Telling someone to "just Google it" is very deliberately being mean or rude just to be mean or rude. I'd rather have an empty thread that no one replies to over being talked to like that. No matter how green or nieve someone may be, they still deserve some level of respect.
I ask forums AFTER I've Googled, I don't want the first answer on your search results either, didn't you read my post? I already tried that:-(
Not to mention, the “just google it” comment is also terrible even if it was made in good faith considering how bad Google seems to have gotten at providing actual useful search results. Hence, why so many people add “Reddit” to the end of their search query, just making everything full circle. You’re providing the content people are googling by making your post.
For reasons I already pointed out several times (and which I don't mind pointing out again), I had severe anxiety and rejection sensitiveness when I wrote comments on Reddit, fearing their responses. Sometimes those fears were correct, and sometimes don't, but the fact that I suffered those things was enough to feel myself in danger. Twitter, Reddit, all was the same shit regarding interaction with other people.
Since I joined the fediverse and became more active, those fears were lowering. That, and the fact that I'm taking medication for my ADHD. But a good environment and friendly human interaction help too.
Are you me? I felt the exact same way. Then if it hurts, you have to hide those feelings too because people will make fun of you for being "too sensitive." "It's just the internet, get over it." Rejection sensitivity is real and it sucks. I quit commenting on Reddit because of that. I never understood why people think the internet isn't a real place, so it's okay to be cruel. We may be somewhat anonymous here, but we're still people with feelings. If you're mentally in a bad place, little things can really feel big. They add up.
I recently got on meds for my ADHD, too. It's helping me a lot, I hope you're having good luck with yours too. :)