I nominate John Bolton to replace Kissinger for main person we hope dies
I nominate John Bolton to replace Kissinger for main person we hope dies
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If we start focusing our energy now we might be able to time Biden slipping in the shower just right for maximum chaos
you know right after I typed that out I realized that they must have a fucking contraption to bathe that man. No way are they leaving him to a non-slip mat and some hand rails. Like he's gotta be in some kind of circus wire harness. I doubt he's getting it done alone either. Probably a whole ass shower team.
So anyway, if we start focusing our energy now, we might be able to time him slipping down the stairs of his airplane for maximum chaos.
I'm convinced that Joe Biden died quietly at the start of the pandemic and the Joe we're seeing is an animatronic puppet designed by Jim Henson's Creature Shop. That's why he was putting out videos from his "basement" at the time. They were testing to see if anyone noticed.
Biden comes shuffling out to the media after being AWOL for 48 hours. He's grinning but he has a black eye, a big lump on his forehead. He's also moving slower than usual because he's limping slightly.
"Before you ask - I slipped in the shower. I've been checked out and everything is fine." He suddenly goes off script "And I didn't break my hip!" The uncomfortable silence only lasts a few seconds but he knows he just made his job of seeming normal ten times harder. "So you see..."