What are the dating advices you often heard of but are actually detrimental to dating?

I've been fed with 'just be yourself', it's ok about your body size and people will love you for who you are. People aren't that superficial bla bla bla. Seriously a big fuck you to those people who said that, I was naive and believe that. Yeah it's comforting to hear but is it what I need? It makes me being pathetic and It gets me no where for many many years.

Why don't people being realistic to me and say something like you're ugly you need to work on yourself, brush up your game, get in shape, be financially stable, be mentally healthy? I was miserable and friends around me are like 'just be yourself', 'you are perfect as you are'??? I get that friends I had don't want to hurt my feeling but in this case I really wish someone would 'hurt' me many years ago so I can improve myself, stop wasting the potential partner I encountered

Sorry about the rant, I need to get this off my chest, I'm currently in better place now and start seeing people.