Cardboard cutouts are cheaper than wasting PTO

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True freedom is the realization that you can literally do whatever the fuck you want
- Even if you're fired and end up homeless and starve to death, suffering is only temporary because soon you'll die and your life won't even be a measurable blip on the timeline of the universe and within 3 or 4 generations you'll all but be completely forgotten... So why not leave early
  
  I need the money and don't have sick/vacation time to waste anymore because I've used it all.
- divides by zero
Also nobody remembers the guy that left the office early on Friday when Monday morning comes around.
- As a teacher, I'm sure my students would notice if I left early.
  
  We'll be happy that you left so that we can spend an hour goofing around
  
  Sound like a hazard of doing a job that's actually necessary. Have you tried doing a job that just makes money for a billionaire?
How do you leave a day (while preserving the option to come back for the next day)?
- Life. Size. Cardboard. Cutout.
- You just fucking leave. Are you useful? They will welcome you back

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