“It Wasn’t That Bad” is R@pe Culture [31:17]

About this video:
With the Jeffrey Epstein case one of the most controversial scandals in recent years, and now the new list that show Prince Andrew, Steven Hawking, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump are also implicated - I’ve seen a resurgence of debates around whether the abuse was bad enough/serious enough, qualifies for mention. People ranking the experiences and minimising and trivialising them. I see this constantly, things that clearly amounted to sxual violence are minimised by terms like ‘’just bad sx’’ misunderstanding, ‘grey area’’. People say This doesn’t really count, but …” or: “I wasn’t r@ped, but …” then proceed to tell me things that absolutely were rape. No matter where I go, or how horrendous the experience, people never seemed to think it was that bad.
‘abuse ranking’ is r@pe apologia. It normalises and trivialises the harm and invalidates victims. It makes us believe some acts are tolerable, and, further, that if a survivor of the "not as bad" sort of violence, they’re making a mountain out of a molehill. ‘’not that bad’’ is a chore pillar of r@pe culture.

⌚️Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
02:37 Why Not That Bad?
16:10 What Led to Change
26:48 That Bad