Leaving the bidet on "feminine" mode is the female equivalent of leaving the toilet seat up.

My wife does this all the time, and if I don't check before I spritz I get an unexpected ball splash.

NSFW for potential topic sensitivity I guess.

81 comments

Why are you hot linking some google images bidet instead of just uploading the image to the post?
- alternatively: why are you linking to an image at all and not just making a text post
  
  Answering both: dial image for reference to what the "modes" are, and my dial is gross. Plus that was the best image I could find describing it, but had trouble getting a clean download. Google images can suck that way. If you get me a clean link, I'd update the post.
There is no valid reason for the toilet seat to ever be up when you enter the bathroom.

You close the lid before you flush, that's why it exists.

edit: added "valid"
- But I like seeing my turds circle the drain
  
  I don't like it, but watching the flush can save a whole lot of pain. Clogs suck.
- Laziness is a reason
- But after flushing I still need to check if I need to use the toilet brush
- Lol that's not why a lid exists but gj on being confidently incorrect.
I need to join you elves with a bidet. Idk why I'm still living in Mordor.
- Same. I think part of me worries it's all I'd ever want to do.
  
  Just get the ones that aren't heated and it'll discourage you from using it too much.
- Saruman had the only bidet in mordor
Leaving the toilet seat up is moot because the lid should be closed when flushing
- I thought the results of later tests was that it doesn't actually make a difference, fecal and urine particles are found on all near surfaces either way?
  
  If you’re referring to the Mythbusters attempt, I think all they proved was that fecal bacteria was everywhere. That’s not the same as saying spewing forth another cloud doesn’t make a difference
- It should be up when flushing so you know if it clogs
  
  I’ve always heard a distinctly gurgle sound when it goes down. It’s very easy to listen for. …. Although my teens can never seem to figure it out
  
  Close to flush, check if you need to clean anything or if there's any other issue, close lid again. That's what I do.
Is the “feminine” mode hygienic? I’d worry about it pushing bacteria and crap up there.
- According to my urogynecologist, who specifically instructed me to always point my shower wand downward when washing my nethers, spraying water can indeed push bacteria up there!
  
  It may only be dangerous for the subset of women who have problems requiring a urogynecology specialist in the first place, IDK, but better safe than sorry.
You don't want your balls washed?
There’s a feminine mode? Aren’t assholes all in the same spot?
- Assholes are, but that's not what it's for
  
  Sometimes a spritz to the gooch is just what I need to remember it takes 2 to tango.
- Yes but women have a pee hole between their labia and if you don't rinse that then what even are you doing? I'm not interested in walking around with pee-stained lady parts, thanks.
  
  Piss-flaps.
  
  They're called piss-flaps.
Do I need to upgrade my bidet? Ours is one dial for cleaning mode which rotates/plugs the sprayer, and one dial for spray, which is just connected to the valve.
- Permanently Deleted
You actually have to switch modes? Mine just has a lever that goes either forwards or backwards depending on which nozzle you want to use.
- That lever is how you're switching modes
- Mine has a dial + lever combo.
Sounds like someone has never gotten up to sit inside of an open toilet when it was dark.
Just another reason the bum gun is the best choice.
Seems like a poor design ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ok so apparently everyone here has a bidet? What’s a cheap bidet to start with?
- You super don't need a whole other toilet lol. LUXE makes some affordable attachments I've had good luck with. But of course, there are multiple types and a dozen price points so you'll have to do some googling to find what sounds good to you and what works for your bathroom.
- Over here you can get quite nice aftermarket upgrades for <€50. They're a good starting point, even if I'd later switch to higher quality and most importantly more lasting solutions.
- its a whole different toilet man. cheapo attachments tho are used
One thing I've always wondered about bidets: where do you add the soap? If there's no such thing, then what makes bidets any better than using toilet paper? What's next, washing your hands without soap?

Personally I rather just risk plumbing issues with butt wipes. And for those particularly nasty shits, I can always hop in the shower and do a quick detail on my asshole with the showerhead and some body wash.
- And for those particularly nasty shits, I can always hop in the shower and do a quick detail on my asshole with the showerhead and some body wash.
  
  Really seems like you answered your own question here
  
  Not at all, cause even regular shits should be cleaned off with something beyond just water or paper. Y'all are walking around with smelly, unclean assholes and it's disgusting.
It is most efficient to leave the toilet seat in the position it is used. The same argument applies for the bidet settings.
- It is most sanitary to close the toilet lid.
  
  ^ This guy's bathroom smells clean.
  
  Actually some studies were done about that and found that the distribution of bacteria was unchanged in total value the only thing that changed was the positioning of the spread throughout the bathroom with the lid open versus closed.
  
  Unless you get something like an rv style toilet that has a sealing lip the lid actually locks against, but ain't nobody using that in their house

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