Imagine having to live in a different country where you didn't get push notifications about what's going on up the king's bum

Tbf, was your choice to allow push notifications. Probably a slow news day.

I wish this was the case, but the BBC news output has really dropped off a cliff the past few years. Going by the notifications I was getting a few months ago before I finally killed them off, they are pretty much reporting only on asinine shit about royals, people killing themselves and the occasional weird article that tries to put a shine on what our shitshow of a government is up to.

The BBC intended to educate and inform is unfortunately dead.
- I mean they're meant to be non-partisan, but if I recall, the Tories popped a bunch of high level execs in to skew things a year or three back.
  
  Definitely not quite as impartial as it should be, and absolutely feels like the quality has dropped off since before the pandemic.
Pretty much if something does not fall under the category of “might need my full attention within 5 minutes”, notifications are going to be off. So basically I have notifications on for all of my messaging channels (with most chats on mute), bank, security apps.

If theres any news worthy of a notification I expect the warning sirens to be on full blast and emergency broadcasts on every channel.

Monarchism is a hell of a drug

Don't worry. Thanks to Ground News I'm up speed on royal rectal insertions. For only the price of a cup of coffee you too can get instant and unbiased updates on the Kussy.

EDIT: Yes, that means "King's boy pussy"

I really cannot wait for CRISPR injections I can self administer to induce targeted damage to my brain in order to forget the things I read sometimes.
- I choose to believe you're reacting to the advert for Ground News and not the allusions to royal rogering.

Do we have any updates on Charles' ass? It's hard to focus when there's such uncertainty looming...

I’m in the US and got the same notification this morning through CNN. Guess we’re into butt stuff over here also

In the US the big news is about Lloyd Austin NOT telling us about what's going on up his butt
CNN is butt so you wanted the butt stuff.

If this leads to more men getting their prostate checked, I'm happy with that.

I presume "public engagements" is a euphemism.

Typo actually, it was meant to say "pubic"
I hope "period" is too

Just imagine having to inform your entire country about what is in your ass

If it makes you feel better, it's closer to being an old man's g-spot. The bum is just the door.

The p-spot.

For a split second I thought this was an amber alert or something and I was genuinely impressed at it's misuse.

Do we have amber alerts in the UK?
- The technology exists but they never seem to use it to do that.
  
  So far they've only ever done a test, which didn't exactly work brilliantly, and then never done anything else with it. Although in fairness I don't know if there's been any opportunities that would require it since the test.

TIL prostate surgery will cause men to have a short period.

my dad had a prostate biopsy and he did have a bit of bleeding afterwards..
- Can we all talk less about bleeding prostates, please?

It was in the breaking news section of SVT, the Swedish public broadcaster. But they love their monarchy news…

Aye I can imagine that, though yer monarch still rules our kin...

That bein' said, it'd be quality content...

I saw the headlines on the Six O'Clock News. People get ill and need treatment, it's hardly a shocker.

that's some important news

Did I just dream this or did we in the US have a president that had a colonoscopy and they broadcast the video on the nightly news? I swear that happened with Reagan or Bush or possibly Clinton but I can't find anything about it.

I thought your news was supposed to report on all the shit that your president was doing?
Katie Couric televised her colonoscopy in 2000! (Piped)
- What a lovely thing to be willing to do. I’m honestly really touched that she values reassuring others over her own privacy.
- Wasn't she only like a vice president or something though?
I guess I dreamed it. It wasn't Katie Couric because I was an adult when that happened. I remember being a kid at home and seeing the video of what looked like a tunnel but it was video of someone's colonoscopy.

What I did find was that Reagan had polyps removed and they basically showed a diagram of a person's digestive tract on the nightly news and Reagan's handlers were embarrassed by that. Maybe one station also showed the video through a random person's butt tunnel to go along with it or something.
Not a president/prime minister or anything important, but I think a celeb had a smear test done on a popular morning show here in the UK. Unless I’m also dreaming.

Fuck Charles. (when he is better)

You'd better go easy, and use lots of lube