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No compatibility with Ubuntu is Ubuntu's fault, no?
I use debian 12 on my work laptop. I agree with your points but I still use it because I want the fundamental system to be stable, and then any software I want to be more up-to-date I build from source (tmux, alacritty, neovim) or download separately (vscode/slack/joplin).
I used to use ubuntu because it worked so well with my hardware ootb, but I got tired of snap.
Debian is great for my server.
I use MX, based on Debian, for my laptop so I only have to remember 1 update command.
My laptop is ancient, and I'm not getting any more out of it than I'm getting with MX
I use debian with flatpaks. It is good enough for me. I like it and I am gonna keep using it.
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No one can dictate what tickles your fancy and ticks your boxes bud. If you're into debian, that's cool by me. Not my jam personally, but wtf does my opinion matter?