Skip Navigation

RPGMemes @ttrpg.network

VagabondShad @ttrpg.network

1y ago

Gotta adventure just to pay child support

31 comments

That just makes your players look for contraception
Also yes medieval times did have contraceptives. In fact the history of contraceptives goes back WAAAY to Egypt
- What are your thoughts on sheep intestines as a rudimentary "condom"?
  
  Sure, but I'm part of the minority that likes to remove the rest of the sheep first.
  
  Sheep intestine = sheep asshole. Someone liked fucking sheep so mutch that they decided they wanted to fuck a sheep whenever they fucked a woman
  
  If it works, it works.
  
  Cut an orange in half, scoop out the insides. Ancient diaphragm.
- Yep Ancient Egyptians used crocodile dung among other things.
  And now you know
  
  They also drove a contrceptive plant extinct
- At least it teaches them to be resourceful and safe.

one of my players did this. between sessions he used streetwise to find out if she was pregnant. then he arranged to have her killed. he showed up to the next session and I declared that his alignment had shifted to evil without telling the party why

I prefer the first option tbh
Even better is playing with people who don't want to vent their sexual frustrations in a game about slaying dragons
- Well but you see cant spell slaying without laying, so I will be laying some dragons thank you very much
- I'd imagine it would only be really the first time but I still think it's a good train of thought. Feels like it's better to say yes with conditions rather than just outright saying no
  
  Of course outright saying no is not a good solution but having an honest conversation with your players about the tone and purpose of the game is always beneficiary. In this example though I would still prefer "no" rather than going into the technicalities of bringing another human into the fantasy world and all its consequences because one player wanted to shit around. If this is the pitch of your game then of course you're free to do so but in this case players should already know this is allowed and intented. Most of the time it's a simple game about a group of adventurers delving into dungeons slaying evil monsters and if some want to introduce "romance" then it should either be disallowed or be in the same tone as rest of the game. YMMV of course

My poor poor bard. Can I take a few levels in warlock and give the child to my patron?
- Do repeat sacrifices give the same power boost from the patron? Might have found a way to bypass all that pesky adventuring to get to level 20.
  
  If it's the same XP each, then you'd still need to be a very prolific manwhore for the higher levels.
  And if they start asking for financial support during pregnancy, you might need to resume adventuring just to afford the added food costs. Pregnant women get hungry.
- Swing alignment to Evil. Prepare a Children of the Corn adventure, themed to fit the particular patron.

I was in a game where a PC hooked up with an NPC and got her pregnant, resulting in a ton of problems for that character. It was quite funny when one of the other players noticed an unused sheep-skin condom listed on that character's sheet. Turns out, they'd looted a condom from a fallen baddie during a previous session but forgot about it.

this feels like a personal attack on bards

Or direct those players to a table of equally horny adventurers and everybody's happy 😎

And then scheduling conflicts end the campaign before they can find out the result.
- Ugh too true

Hey guys, wanna play this cool game called FATAL?

They get way too into it and start keeping track of how much of their "seed they've spread" in an attempt to create a new army of children. As for child support, nobody uses their gold anyway

because murder-hobos need more excuses to murder-hobo. 🙄

"How the hell did I get a male orc pregnant?"
- There's an Oglaf for that.
  NSFW warning
  https://www.oglaf.com/honor/
  https://www.oglaf.com/son-of-kronar/

31 comments