This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/SinistersReturn567 on 2024-02-03 19:41:49.

When the tell-tale bing of a Grindr notification rang out from my phone in the late hours of the night I initially planned on ignoring it. I hadn’t been actively using the app in some time. After a few years of being catfished, ghosted, and just generally exposed to some of the most dismal examples of humanity the internet had to offer, I had resolved to never again meet up with someone from Grindr. But of course as I lay in my bed unable to pass into the twilight realms of sleep due to insomnia for perhaps the third night in a row boredom set in and I decided to see who was messaging me.

I fully expected to open the message and be greeted by the sight of yet another grainy picture of a stranger’s genitalia complete with terrible lighting and some crass invitation that would confirm for me once again that romance was long dead and in the grave, only to be pleasantly surprised by the sight of a guy who was actually really cute. He looked to be only a little older than me, in his late 20’s or early 30’s if I had to guess, with sandy blond hair that cascaded past his shoulders and probably the most unique set of eyes I had ever seen. An exquisite example of heterochromia, a rare condition that affects the irises, one of his eyes was a dark violet hue, while the other was a deep ocean blue.

His profile was simply named “Shyguylooking” and according to the app he was around 20 miles away, and his message was straightforward and polite.

“Hi. How’s your night going?”

I was pretty sure he was a catfish at this point, because I was never lucky enough to meet a real human who was this attractive on this app, but I had nothing else going on and decided that a bit of conversation would be harmless. So I responded with my own eloquently titled profile, and our conversation was more or less as follows.

Chadlongwood69: Good, how are you?

Shyguylooking: I’m alright, kinda bored.

Chadlongwood69: I feel that. What are you looking for?

Shyguylooking: Just some fun, and maybe more if you’re interested.

I definitely was, but I didn’t want to come across as too easy and I wasn’t even sure if this was a real person yet, so I decided to go along with the usual process I had for vetting potential hookups.

Chadlongwood69: You have pics?

Shyguylooking: Yeah

After a second or two he sent me his album, which was comprised of a few photos of a very risque nature that I will not describe in their entirety here for propriety’s sake, though I will say that he had a wonderful set of abs and an intricate, almost arcane looking tattoo of a snake eating itself etched across his chest that curled up to his neck that made me swoon. Against my better judgment my libido took over and my response was almost immediate

Chadlongwood69: How soon can you come over?

Shyguylooking: I can start heading over right now. Can you send me your address?

Chadlongwood: Of Course!

Shyguylooking: Great! I’ll be there in 15 minutes or so.

My anticipation was palpable at this point so we kept messaging as I made preparations for my late-night guest, with each message from him coming from a closer distance as the app tracked his movement and the conversation steered toward the hot and heavy.

Shyguylooking ( 10 miles away): Oh baby I can’t wait to get my hands on you.

Chadlongwood69: Oh yeah? What are you gonna do when you do Daddy?

Shyguylooking: ( 5 miles away) : I’m going to split your belly open and spill your filthy, slippery guts all over before I peel the flesh from your rotten bones to feed the darkness of my soul.

Chadlongwood69: What?

Shyguylooking ( 1200 feet away): Your screams will be the sweetest melody, your agony a blessing from the gods of Gehenna! Oh how I long for the taste of your warm entrails on my lips.

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten out of the mood so quickly and I told the guy as much.

Chadlongwood69: You know what? Nevermind man. It’s getting late and I’m not really into that kind of roleplay.

Shyguylooking ( 500 feet away): I haven’t begun to play with you yet.

Chadlongwood69: I mean it dude, don’t fucking come near my house, I’ve got several guns.

Shyguylooking ( 50 feet away): You think they’ll save you?

I blocked him immediately and went over to the nightstand by my bed and pulled out my .357 and loaded it just in case. I was definitely put off, but I was more annoyed than scared at this point because I figured he was just a weirdo that got off on being a creep and didn’t actually have the stones to do anything until I heard a knock on the door that made my stomach turn.

Bump bump bump.

I made no motion toward the door at first, just stood there as still as I could with my gun leveled at the door, utterly flabbergasted that out of all the people I could have invited over from Grindr at this time of night I had to get the actual psychopath. I had no plans to answer the door, I was just going to stand there with my gun ready until the guy inevitably got bored and decided I wasn’t worth the trouble when a familiar voice rang out from the other side of the door.

“ Jamie? Jamie honey are you home? It’s Momma. I need to talk to you.”

No fucking way

I thought to myself as I slowly approached the door and responded without opening it.

“ Mom? Is that you? What are you doing here? It's after midnight.”

“ I just need to talk to you sweetie, can you please open the door?”

Relief washed over me and I moved my hand to open the door when I stopped for a moment. Something wasn’t right here. My mom lived almost three hours away from me and she never just showed up at my doorstep unannounced, especially this late at night. On instinct, I peered through the peephole to see if it was in fact her and was surprised to see that it actually was her. Or at least someone that looked almost exactly like her, from her sweet, pudgy face and her short stature to her salt and pepper hair.

The eyes though, the eyes were off. In place of her familiar emerald green eyes were a pair of mismatched ones of violet and blue, and I could make out the tail of a snake tattoo curling up from under her collar in the dim porch light. I had no idea what to make of this situation, but I knew that Hell would freeze over before I opened that door.

“Jamie? Is something wrong? Open the door! You know I’m afraid of the dark!”

At the time I didn’t think to wonder how It knew my real name.

“ Whoever you are, leave! I’m calling the cops!”

The thing on the other side of the door then broke into a wide, ear to ear smile revealing rows of blackened, knife-like teeth before It started beating furiously against the door. Screaming at me with my mother’s voice as it did.

“ Let me in you filthy little tease! The Blood Gods are greedy and they demand an offering!”

Without a second thought I leveled the gun at the door and emptied the clip. What followed was the most inhuman scream of pain I’d ever heard in my life, like the cries of a creature from Satan’s nightmares before whatever was out there slammed against the door with enough force to almost dislodge it from the hinges before silence fell over the house.

I ran and locked myself in the bathroom while I called the cops and waited for what felt like a thousand years before two uniformed officers came to greet me with guns drawn. After I dropped the .357 and raised my hands slowly and explained that I was the one who made the call they put their guns away and carefully escorted me outside so I could make a report.

As they led me out, I saw that the front door way and porch area were covered in what I could only describe as a viscous black ichor that trailed through the grass and ended abruptly at the sidewalk. I deleted Grindr that day and never looked back, but my nightmare still isn’t over. Even now years later, after countless cross-country moves and even changes of identity, I still get messages from anonymous social media accounts that are all called some variation of “Shyguy” as well as texts from random numbers, asking if I still want to have fun.