Apparently I'm a dwarf
Apparently I'm a dwarf
Apparently I'm a dwarf
Dwarf Fortress almost made me fail a few courses in undergrad.
That is a game that redefines the concept of fun.
If you don't gotta consult the reference books regularly, are you even enjoying yourself?
I bought a second monitor just to have the wiki open at all times.
An epic fight with trogdor.
Then, as an adventurer, you beat Trogdor by throwing handfuls of water at it
It is amazing that in zero words that comic encapsulates nearly everything about Dwarf Fortress.
This is the only game that made me regret wasting time eating IRL because I needed both hands for designating jobs.
What I came to say. Thought for sure this post was going to to be a reference itself.
If that comic defines what dwarf games and dwarf fortress plays like, then am I a dwarf for exclusively playing indie roguelikes and roguelites?
Zany uberviolent team shooters about bugs sounds a whole lot like Deep Rock Galactic.
Or its weirder, older cousin, Earth Defense Force
To save our mother Earth from any alien attack!
I interpreted 'bugs' as 'glitches' rather than creepy crawlies.
There's also the newish Starship Troopers: Extermination
Goblins are just juvenile dwarves.
I'm tempted to put Eve Online into the "Elf Video Game" category, because the UI could, to quote Yahtzee, "only be more unintuitive if it was at the bottom of a fucking well." It doesn't really meet the other categories there. It kinda hits "Halfling Video Games," with the sheer politics involved in that game.
Factorio is solidly a "Dwarven Video Game."
The Eve Online UI is perfectly intuitive. There is simply no other way of providing the level of information needed in a different format than lots of tables.
only thing missing is an SQL prompt.
We found the elf.
Eve is 100% halfling game.
I suppose you have an HOA if you're in a renter corp, but seriously just join a good alliance.
The factory must grow
The city must survive
The magma must flow (downstairs through the entirety of the fortress)
ROCK AND STONE, MOTHERFUCKERS!
WHEN YOU ROCK AND STONE, YOU'RE NEVER ALONE!
IF YOU DON'T ROCK AND STONE, YOU AIN'T GOIN' HOME!
Tabaxi video games: Open world survival crafting rpg with a million different game mechanics. Bugs out the ass because the developers kept getting distracted by a piece of string or some other random bullshit. Ends on a cliffhanger because they ran out of time to finish the story. Robust modding community by necessity.
So. Starfield then
Nah, even the modding community declared that a lost cause.
Skyrim.
Palworld then
Dragon games are oldschool play-by-mail grand strategy that no one alive has actually claimed to play but the crustiest of oldbeards recall their uncle playing at some point.
Kenku video games: Palworld.
...you really gonna throw out a teaser like that without giving us a list of corresponding games??
You got counter strike source
I can't tell if counter strike would be a human or hobgoblin video game.
Not too familiar with jrpgs, my best suggestion is that you'd probably have to combine Tactics Ogre (for the hour long fights) with something else
Basebuilding strategy fps with tensile strength of..
minus the FPS, this is just dwarf fortress
dwarven rhythm games have supply line minigames
I'm pretty sure this is a reference to a specific game but can't remember much about it
Mortals cannot comprehend dwarven grand strategy games
definitely the campaign for north africa (or any other game by Simulations Publications)
halfling games: I've got nothing
goblin games: the gacha screams "any online card game", and the moba should be easy to find too. Left as an exercise to the reader.
orc game: I'm thinking this is about 10% of the games on newgrounds. You'll find these amongst general flash game collections for sure
The first sentence for goblin games is Hades. The second is EDF.
...Hades isn't a gatcha or "collectathon" though.
Lol what?? I don't think either of those are accurate.
EDF?
I'm very into base building games in general.
I think it started with Command and Conquer, and blossomed from there.
I'm currently playing valheim and having no fucking clue what I'm doing, but I'm enjoying myself.
My colonists on mars, Rim world, settlers in fo4, and the DRG dwarves will have to wait.
And I want to try out Ixion? but my laptop sucks so I'll have to wait until I get a desktop or something.
Rimworld
Against the Storm
Timberborn
Valheim like you said
Satisfactory
Tried timberborn and against the storm, they're good but not for me.
Satisfactory is a good one but my laptop overheats even when I have it on a fan so I gave up on it.
strike the earth motherfuckers, I just built a computer using nothing but water gates and Armok's love
Missing dwarf pve shooter. We fight for rock and stone!
ROCK
AND
STONE
We’re rich!
Many play Minecraft in dwarf mode
I used to play many orc flash games in the past. I still do when I want to relieve the past.
Never thought I'd play side by side with an orc.
The music always slaps.
Nah, the Orc game would be cozy games because it's about taking a break from the usual fair for your society.
Korog be coming home from a day crushing human skulls to play a game about owning a small farm and suddenly having a box of corgi puppies left on your doorstep to take care of, sold with a weighted blanket to burrito yourself in while playing for the best immersed experience.
Says you. Tax Simulator, baybeeee!
I have been audited by the IRS
What sort of games would Kobolds make? Because I can definitely see them making From the Depths
Kobold Space Program
You know, a character swap and making everything look rusty and recycled and I think you got yourself a grand mod there.
The safety program makes sense if it was designed by a kobold...
Infinite play games that focus on collecting random shit for the highest score without any discernable benefit from doing so 'cept "bigger number heheh..."
Something like Cookie Clicker?
Sounds like "Achievement Unlocked" would be something they'd make
ever hear of Bad Rats?
Untitled Goose Game
This
Uber religious knockoffs of other popular games with a reverence for dragons and a prevailing theme of self-loathing
I think "Totally Accurate Battle Simulator"
I like team-building isometric RPGs with turn-based combat (I miss you so much Fallout 1 and 2!)
What does that make me?
Old!
I already knew that!
In browser flash games? How old is this meme?
For orcs, they never went away. Waagh.
Flashpoint is a thing, and orcs are usually regarded as not as technological as other races in fiction so it kinda tracks that they would still be playing flash games
Some of us never left the 80s
I would commit petty crimes to have a halfling video game
Never played it, but Strange Horticulture sounds like what you're looking for.
Play a Dwarf civilization in Anbennar (EU4 mod). It's epic. Almost this epic: https://youtu.be/34CZjsEI1yU
I feel like Pizza Possum would fit in with goblin games
So concernedape is a halfling
Dragons have neverending arguments about idle games which seem painfully generic and interchangeable to anything on two legs. Swarm Simulator Simulator, Multiversal Paperclips, Urban Dead, that sort of thing. In reality the games are just an occasional distraction, and what they're really addicted to are those years-long threads of snippy factional elitism about the games. Dragons routinely get banned from MOBA forums for being the absolute worst accounts that technically never break the rules. They bicker about the meta like they're experts hiding behind toons. They have literally never played the game.
Liches are the ones getting wound-up by dragons in all those forums. Unironic edgelords with giant signatures and arcane medals below their ooh-so-spooky avatars. Any account created a month before the game launched, chewing out some friendly newbie for not knowing something the developer mentioned once on IRC, then getting tilted when a lizard-themed sockpuppet incorrectly nitpicks their grammar? Lich. They are of course the most toxic players in any game they hyperfixate on, because they'll never, ever get banned. Through unnatural rituals like privately befriending the programmers, they are beyond consequence. They can still be spotted on chan boards saying shit that no mortal moderator could excuse. Ironically none of them play Urban Dead because they consider the revival mechanics insensitive.
Fairies are the squeaky shit-talkers in hypercompetitive shooter lobbies. They are genuinely terrifying where twitch reactions matter. Fairies can rinse through Nuketown with twin shotguns while playing on DK Bongos. Their contentious relationship with humanity arises primarily from not respecting any strategy besides "Rush B."
Dark Elves fucking love Among Us. Any backstabbing accusatory "social deduction" game is right up their alley. Dark Elves have GMod Murder variants where there is only one innocent and you win by killing them last.
Tabaxi committed like half the funding for Star Citizen. Any game with exploration and arbitrage makes their pupils go wide.
Warforged adore racing games because they don't understand there's a little man inside the car.
Vampire visual novels are the trashiest purple fanfiction on the internet. Vampires support an industry you'd swear was taking the piss, but they can literally smell insincerity. Some extremely old money goes to teenagers and spinsters with incomprehensibly naive views of romance. Somehow they build the most meticulously-crafted storylines imaginable. Popular streamers occasionally play these as a joke, and the utterly gripping emotional intensity can turn them into "RenPyFields."
Half-elves are too busy stanning HoloLive to play games.
Why you gotta do Half Elves like that...
Look, if there's fantasy racism, there's fantasy weebs.
Celestial video games: Beautifully polished, graphically perfect games that define visual benchmarks for years to come. No interesting content under the surface.
Devil video games: Competitive deck builders that are always receiving nerds and buffs that seem to only harm you, where everyone always seems a little better than you.
Demon video games: Horribly un-optimised sandbox creation games that people only use to cause massive destruction.
Fey video games: Absurd dating sims that exclusively feels like the creator simultaneously has never spoken to anyone romantically in their lives and also fucks.
Feels correct to suggest platformers as a human game. Human wowed by jumping between two platforms while the elves are like "you can do that on between trees in real life" dwarves "you ever jumped a fissure?"
Def a Halfling gamer