The whole "if all that you see is X then you must be Y" rhetoric is full of shit

If all that you deal with are assholes then YOU must be the asshole!

If everything and everyone is 'abusive behavior' wherever you go then it's because YOU are the abusive one!

Like what kind of logic is this? It is both blanket generalizing and accountability dodging in one, whenever this kind of thing is projected. It's to guilt the individual who may be propping legitimate complaints or issues about the people or things they deal with every day, into believing that they're the problem - with some exceptions.

I do deal with my fair share of assholes, even when I was trying to be the more civil one and kind to the best of my ability. How, in a reasonable sense, does that constitute me as an asshole when the reception I get is that they're being the asshole in return? What was I expected to do? Drop to my knees, worship their very step and kiss their ass to appease them?

The problem lies is when people dodge accountability for their behavior and their actions that result in conflict. So they turn this into some ridiculous ping pong game of deciding who the real asshole is or who the real abuser is. Nothing but high-school level debates that consists of 'he said, she said' that could go on forever and no amount of conclusion is found.

So the answer is to just generalize someone and run with it? That makes someone even MORE irresponsible for their accountability, to me. Nobody knows the stories of everyone involved in whatever the hell happens and I've learned that nobody will ever take the time to sit and understand a situation.

But I think just generalizing is a stupid way of handling it. If you don't care at all, come to your own conclusions and act upon them even if it means disassociating with someone based on how they've treated you, your friends and even strangers. Don't let social media decide for you about who is an asshole and who is an abuser or who is what.