Can Parents Prevent Their Sons From Sliding to the Right?
Can Parents Prevent Their Sons From Sliding to the Right?
It might feel dangerous to let a teen explore reactionary and unformed pseudo-ideologies. But no one should get canceled at the dinner table.
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I have a problem with the inherent hypocrisy in this article. The author presents the issue of her sons "sliding to the right" as a problem in itself, rather than explaining why she thinks it is a problem.
If you, as a parent, see a shift in your child's belief system or political preferences as a problem, you need to do some introspection and be able to fully articulate why it's a problem other than "I don't like it."
Because sliding to the right is a problem. If you dont see the problem with the current right than that's a you problem.
Isn't the key words though "the current right"? The right & left of 2003 where both different from today, why would young rightists or leftists grow up to be mirrors of their forbears?
Assuming that just because your son is (for example) whining about video game journalists, that doesn't mean he's automatically going to call for abortion bans in all 50 states. He's a thinking human being with an intact rational faculty, give him some credit.
if you're a person who has any kind of sympathy to queer people, poor people, people of color, women, men, disabled people, immigrants, recognize the verifiable facts of climate change and its effect on our biosphere, are even vaguely interested in a better world, or are just baseline concerned for the health and wellness of your kid, right wing ideologies are self-evidently a problem.
the world that right wing politicians want is bad, the things they think about other people are cruel, and only people who already believe the stupid, evidence poor bullshit right wingers believe would look at the shit online right wing communities get up to and not immediately be concerned for the welfare of their child. i mean, even being a mom is explanation enough. right wing ideologies treat women poorly. its not complicated, and most people reading an article like this are not seriously examining whether or not "equal rights", "feminism", and "human kindness" are things to be debated. they aren't.
You reduced "sliding to the right" to "becoming a racist, sexist, misogynist" and completely missed the point. Rather than dictating to our kids what they should believe, we should teach them principles that will allow them the best chance of choosing correctly for themselves.
Honestly, attitudes like yours are a huge contributor to the rightward shift of young men.
sure buddy. expressing my resentment towards a set of ideological principles that have directly harmed me and the people i love, and are continuing to pursue even greater harms towards me and my loved ones right now, that's the real problem, not the ideologies that are pushing for those harms!
i don't buy your marketplace of ideas bullshit. if you vote for or associate with modern right wing political movements? you are in action a racist, sexist, misogynist, homophobe, transphobe, climate denialist, book burner, and christian nationalist, because the people you are putting in power are actively pursuing policy which is verifiably all of those things, and the people doing them are not shy about saying what they believe. it's not a debate, its not a matter of opinion.
i flirted with right wing politics when i was young, i think a lot of people do, but there's a reason why boys specifically are falling for the bullshit, and its because men are the beneficiaries of the systems of oppression that we've built up over the centuries, and oligarchs are pouring money into bolstering fascist movements that see democracy explicitly as a barrier to their supremacy. that just isn't an attractive political perspective for people who aren't already on the top of the hierarchy. its not because left wing people aren't more attentive to the precious little feelings of people who can't see beyond their own personal comfort, its because right wing ideologues can piggy back on hundreds of years of patriarchy to convince impressionable teen boys that they should strive to maintain their supremacy over all the people who aren't like they are.
You've become radicalized, friend: Your extremist rhetoric makes that clear. I hope you can find your way out.
"extremist rhetoric" eh? was it the mere recognition of systemic oppression that got you? or am i supposed to play nice with folks who are actively trying to make life worse for me? i'm expressing political perspectives that are informed by the modern realities of life for people like me. queer people are fleeing red states. right wing politicians are actively stripping away peoples' rights as we speak. there's nothing neutral about your position, there's nothing "moderate" about standing at the sidelines and turning away from the ongoing human cost of the politics you are right here making accommodations for.
your refusal to recognize the clear and present danger that right wing politics and policy poses to the lives of people worldwide is a kind of radicalism. there is proof, exhaustive bodies of academic literature indicating that so many common right wing positions do not align with observed reality. to presume "moderation" in your politics is to deny that evidence, and that is a deeply political act.
What is extreme about your talking points is the implicit assumption that a person taking any position right of center is a "racist, sexist, misogynist, homophobe, transphobe, climate denialist, book burner, and christian nationalist". Spewing bigoted and divisive rhetoric like this alienates even centrists like myself. It's a hateful worldview that could easily lead to violence. I hope you find the help you need.
the assumption i'm making is if you're broadcasting "any position right of center", that you're voting for politicians right of center. and if you're doing that, then you're supporting people who are actively pursuing all the things i am describing, especially if you're in the united states. trying to attribute hate, bigotry, and violence to that assertion is wholly projection. you do not tolerate intolerance. no matter how much you fearmonger about how "violent" this rhetoric is, the stats are clear. it ain't lefties who are shooting up schools, storming the capitol, and showing up to queer community events with guns and nazi flags.
So you didn't read the article? Seems pretty clear to me why they feel like it's a problem and tackle the specific topics.
With all due respect, I think your child deviating from what you’ve tried to teach them is the most natural thing in the world to be concerned about. I don’t think it’s hypocritical.
How many conservative christian parents see their kid not wanting to go to church or reading books like The Selfish Gene and intervene? (I know this is kind of a strawman, but just trying to get the point across that if you shift the perspective to a right wing parent with left wing children, you get kind of the same result).
Besides, I think the author is rather honest with their own beliefs:
For those of us (like me) very firm in our political beliefs, it feels good to stake your position and defend it well. But as adults, we need to figure out a way to help our young people work through confusion without feeling shunned by their own families
The actual issue the author has are: the growing divide between male vs female beliefs seems like a bad thing, and the beliefs that boys are increasingly adopting is increasingly a victim complex.