parcel safe place

On a side not. Is it just me or does Amazon never follow the delivery instructions?
- My instructions were "On the porch or under the shelter by the bins"
  
  when the company as allocated at most 5 seconds per delivery and you've already spent 3, reading instructions is not going to happen. Gotta go fast
  
  The courier: Let's see... "on the porch or ... bins". Bin it is!
  
  Package is now sheltered by the bins, so to speak.
  
  Not to be pedantic, but under shelter by the bins could be interpreted as the bins provided shelter to your delivery.
  
  Amazon drivers mostly follow my directions. I find that they usually only ever snap a pic if they did.
- Not just Amazon. I had a parcel being delivered by DPD while I was on holidays. I checked the delivery's webpage, which said "if you're not in, we'll leave it with your neighbour". Great!
  While I was on holiday, I checked the status on the day of delivery: "you weren't in, we returned it to DPD depot". Somewhat annoying, but the depot is only 15 minute drive from mine, I can go collect it then I'm back home.
  Checked it again when I got back home: "returned to sender".
  The fun thing was that the item was the modem from my new internet provider, and my old provider was ceasing their services that very day.
  
  How long did it stay at the depot until it said returned?
  It's very normal for packages to get returned if no one picks them up in a specified time period.
- Where I live Amazon has started a new thing where expensive items have a one time password needed at the time of delivery. So basically unless you are available at the exact right moment and the delivery driver isn't an idiot, you are going to have issues. I live in a building with a concierge which you'd think would be helpful, but they actually seem to try actively to be unhelpful.
  
  Can't see that lasting long...
  
  I think it has something to do with crime rates. Due to a very weird way in which the police report crimes any crime that they don't have the exact location for, they just default to the police station which is just down the road from me so as a result my area is apparently extremely high in crime (it isn't). I think Amazon do it based on whether or not they think people are going to steal the package and they figure a high crime area is an area where package theft is common.

Just expediting the product lifecycle.
- When Amazon starts a garbage collection division "Amazon Waste & Dispose" we'll know there's a conspiracy!

How was your delivery?
Rubbish!

Exact same thing happened to a friend of mine a few months ago. Guess who took his package while he was at work? That's right, the garbage men.

It just looks so sad there. Poor envelope.
- The best part was that I just opened the package, took out the item, and left the envelop there. Efficient recycling!

I guess a porch pirate isn’t gonna look in the bin, and if they did, it does look like recycling
So I guess that’s something?
- Fortunately remote enough not to have to worry about porch pirates. But maybe that's what the driver was thinking

I mean, I'd just take the contents and ask Amazon where the package is.
- Yeah Amazon drivers are usually required to upload a photo, so if it’s a photo of it in the trash OP can just say “but today was trash day, when I got home my trash was empty”

Is that Oatly?
Fuck Oatly.
And Fuck Fuck Oatly.
- Wow, it actually goes as deep as fckfckfckfckfckoatly.com. Lol
  
  Hey Kieth, did you spend our entire marketing budget registering web domains?
- Oatly is an ok brand, but their product is oily garbage that pales in comparison to many other plant based milks, especially homemade.
  
  I should try making my own, it's presumably just a case of soaking oats in water? I guess? Also, Aldi's oat milk is really good.
- Da fuck? Are you literally advertising for oatly right now?
  
  Ah, you got me. Luckily I know a website you might like...

Amazon drivers here never even hand you the parcels anymore. They leave it on the doorstep, knock the door and then by the time you've gone to the door to collect it, they're driving off.
I did once have one not even bother knocking the door and automatically leave the parcel in the bin, even though I was at home and he could have just knocked the door and handed it to me. 🤦
- So the reason we don't is unless your delivery note says to knock or ring a door bell we are not allowed to because customers complain and we get written up for it called customer escalation so put it in the notes I always follow the notes no notes means it gets left a door.
  
  People complain about the doorbell?
  Then don't have a door bell jackasses. Being alerted that someone is at the door is it's whole purpose.
  
  I don't have any delivery notes. Also, on the odd occasions when I do, they don't pay attention to them anyway.
  "Leave with the neighbour if I'm not in", then I get a picture of it sitting behind the bin.
  
  This makes sense, maybe I should remove my note (to leave under shelter by the bins) entirely
- I'm not sure where you live, but our XYZ (USPS, Amazon, UPS) drivers almost never knock or ring the bell. FedEx is the only one that does, and they don't come very often. Maybe all the drivers know our house and don't want to hear the dogs. Honestly it's appreciated, I don't care to answer the door without prior notice, doubly so if no one is actually there when I do.
  USPS drivers just want to get done for the day and go home, but Amazon (definitely) and UPS (I think) get docked for taking over X time per delivery. If someone comes to the door to talk to you and ask you something, that could really mess with your times.
  
  You are correct where I am we have about 200 stops a day over 400 packages 1 minute per stop 45-60 stops a hour is what the expect.
- They leave it on the doorstep, knock the door and then by the time you’ve gone to the door to collect it, they’re driving off.
  I get Amazon packages daily, and I would say that they never knock (or ring) 100% of the time. If the bell rings, it was probably by accident.
  This applies to packages left in the cold or after 9pm, when someone would be unlikely to collect it until the next morning. And it also applies to food items and liquid chemicals that shouldn't be frozen or experience excessive heat.
  It got so bad that I've basically just set my doorbell camera to alert me when a package is dropped off, but I can only imagine the inconvenience this behaviour causes millions of people very year.
  
  That is because if we do and dogs bark baby wakes up and a customer calls Amazon support over it we get a customer escalation hurts are scorecard terribly and al drivers lose their bonus for the 2 week pay period also if you don't rate a Amazon delivery with a thumbs up it hurts us as well please rate your delivery. Amazon goes out of their way to punish drivers.

God's looking kindly on you if you can get away with not collapsing boxes before putting them in the paper bin.
- Haha, astute observation. It's communal. Someone will have to squash it all down before long!
  
  Seems like a job the hydraulic power compactor can handle.

Complete and utter garbage.

Literally just today I watched out the window as an Amazon driver put an extremely expensive keyboard I just ordered in the bin.
The distance between the bin and the front door is about two extra steps. It probably took more effort to lift the lid and put it in the bin then it would have to rig the bell.

The unfolded oatley box makes me angry 😡
Fold / rip your damn boxes before you put it in the recycle bin. Otherwise, you lose so much space in there!
- Ha it's a shared bin (which I just realised makes the delivery even more risky).
  Standing in the bin and jumping up and down is a good strategy to compact at a later date. Otherwise, the hydraulic press of the bin lorry can handle it :)