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Teacher: Welcome to school children, today we will be learning how to do...
Kid: our taxes??
Teacher: no, we're gonna learn outdated modes of counting beans and how to summon Jesus
how to summon Jesus
That could be pretty useful if it worked.
My friendly neighborhood
cultmegachurch said all I have to do is fork over 15-20% of my income and Believe for a Miracle™.Summon jesus on top of your enemies to crush them
Bible literalists: "You must accept jesus into your heart"
Interpreted literally: Summon jesus inside your enemies to telefrag them
It totally works, but only for his godly part, which is for all intents and purposes completely imperceptible.
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