I do this a lot. I get excited about stuff and go on these exuberant tangents and people think I’m just talking down to them. Sometimes it causes people to ghost me and I’ve learned that’s okay, I don’t want to be around those people anyway
Sometimes it causes people to ghost me and I’ve learned that’s okay, I don’t want to be around those people anyway
I'm happy for you! 😀
I do this at the family dinner table
This leads me to believe I'm either autistic or an asshole
The good news is that you can be both! It just comes down to intent.
It's actually somewhat hard to be both, but dude when it happens one thing really adds to the other so much!
Most of us are are constantly masking among neurotypical folks and one of the reasons we do it is to not be seen as an asshole. If you actually are an asshole then you can also be yourself much more easily, which in turn often make you be seen as an even bigger asshole by them.
If you are just trying to share knowledge then you aren't an asshole. Those same people will do the same endless rambling about pointless sports statistics and how they made 3 touchdowns in high school or whatever thing they find interesting.
how they made 3 touchdowns in high school
You must accept both sides of your being, for to be an asshole to ignorance is one of the greatest joys an educated mind can experience.
See, look at that - @some_guy showed up to generate the second half of the equation. He hasn't yet shown the capacity to form complete sentences, but he loves to follow me around downvoting after I told him his battle is with the troll within. Each time I see his downvote, it makes my day a little brighter knowing that no matter how hard he tries, he can't answer the arguments I've posed him, but they're still in his head, driving him to hunt me across the Fediverse, downvoting without commentary because he truly has nothing to say.
Simple pleasures.
Why not both?
Both are a spectrum that everyone is on, and pretty much no one is all the way at the "not at all" side of either lol
Hey, you wanna learn about ancient Mediterranean religions? Did you know Yahweh is a divorced dad?
Sources:
Crecganford - Asherah, Wife of God
go on...
Please see edit.
Source? I knew he was a philandering asshole, but I didn't know he was divorced before he met Mom.
Shit, maybe he wasn't... now I need a damn drink. Anyone got a spare water bottle?
I do want to know this!! Is the divorce an interpretation of the decline of Asherah worship?
Ding ding ding you win!
See edit in original comment for sources
That's the sort of knowledge I have no interest in retaining long-time, but am always curious to read up on for hours and hours.
Willingness to info dump works wonders in a casual retail sales environment. Customers come up with what they think are silly questions, and I'll just give them as complete an answer as I can, engaging fully. Vast majority of them are greatly appreciative of it.
A few even come into my store specifically to find and ask me stuff.
That's because you're performing a valuable service and we salute you for it.
Most people at my workplace actually appreciate the my thorough explanations. I did have an issue crop up with one of the juniors on my team though. He talked to my boss about it who then talked to me without naming me, but I explained the situation to my boss who presumably relayed it to the junior, and I eventually figured out it was him and was able to adjust accordingly.
The issue was that since I really was more technical advanced than him, thus my higher role, my tendency to explain issues so thoroughly including context he saw as obvious was leading him to believe I was intentionally patronizing him and mocking his inexperience.
At this stage I think it's smoothed over, simply with us settling on a mutual understanding. I take extra care to minimise info dumping and he keeps in mind that I'm not intentionally trying to insult his intelligence when I inevitably fail.
I'm happy y'all were able to work it out in a respectful and professional manner
Yeah I'm very lucky I have a job where my role is to share information related to my area of expertise.
Doesn't help me outside of work though...
This kind of thing is why I rarely offer any advice or correction at work anymore unless it's a safety issue. If you stop someone from doing something dumb and wasteful before it happens, you're the asshole. Once they've screwed up all on their own, they're much more receptive to some patiently explained lesson based in experience, as long as you're kind and delicate. It can be hard to step back and not get immediately involved, especially when I know I'm going to have to deal with the fallout. I'm happy to drop everything and help anyone that asks, but they always get the introductory "Forgive me if I (because I probably will) tell you something obvious that you already know." Now I'm not the know-it-all asshole people are afraid to cross, I'm the laid back know-it-all that gets excited when people come to me with questions.
It is a constant struggle though.
It also involves waiting and really listening when people talk tangentially about something you have some weird interest in. The whole "me too! Let me add..." attitude is more often seen as mansplaining or one-upsmanship than sharing excitement. People don't usually that care what things you know unless they explicitly ask.
That's actually a really good tip! I still get criticised all the time for apparently trying to one-up everyone else and hog all the attention, and I've never been able to figure out how to prevent it. Maybe I need to point more focus into how I'm expressing a shared interest in something, because I definitely go to a "me too! Let me add..." approach by default.
I think this is just people being different and having different expectations of what an exchange should be like. I find myself in this situation pretty often
Is this a symptom of autism? I do this a lot without knowing.
Not technically, but it could be a pattern that is indicative of autism. If you're interested in assessing yourself, here are a bunch of online tests that could give more clarity. However, no online test is sufficiently valid enough to diagnose autism. You need a thorough assessment by an autism specialist that uses a standardized scale such as the Autism Diagnostic Observation Scale-2 (ADOS-2) which takes hours and maybe even multiple visits.
No, that's just because you're horrible person, Kevin!
Very relatable
I call it geeking out when I do it. Usually a detail I think is amazing requires too much context to understand which I figure out only when I'm explaining the background and people's eyes glaze over. Then I make jokes that no-one gets like having Superstring Torpedoes in my Star Trek expy card game.
Is there anyone here who is a woman who has experienced this?
Unsure if I count, non binary but biological women and I have had this terribly bad for all my life
Interesting lack of response!
Because I've noticed, between my husband and I who both have shown symptoms of ADHD, that I'm better able to modulate my tone of voice and have better interpersonal interactions at work, and he has had similar issues to another commenter when speaking to people at work- because he's technically correct, he doesn't get in trouble, but he still stirs the pot in ways that make people less willing to work with him because of the tone of condescension he takes on, without him seeming to realize it. My theory is that this is a learned/untrained behavior and is something many women are typically forced to learn to adapt and fix early on.
I've been trying to relate to a group I'm in and lately it feels like everything I say falls on deaf ears. Or is outright ignored which is the more common outcome. I received some 'feedback' and since then it has felt bad. I can't relate to them in any way so my attempts to bridge that some and seeing them ignored feels extra bad.
If this is a group you don't have to socialize with, maybe consider not belonging to the group anymore. I'm concerned that you will change yourself too much to meet their expectations. If you have to socialize with them, then remember to hold your boundaries!
Oh for sure. I left on Friday because I was tired of feeling like they didn't want me there. Then today found out one of the people stabbed me in the back after leaving the group and it cost me a faux job of sorts. Just funny because whenever I let people into my circle they fuck me over as soon as it's convenient to them.
Sorry for slow reply. Lemmy wasn't putting up the notification until today.
That's because you are not the problem, they are, because thet have no business getting angry or feeling inferior by unassuming individuals in the first place. The fact that they associate being corrected with malice is a moral failing on their part, not on yours for not catering to their feelings. They absolutely would not cater to yours if they were hurting you; instead they'd chastise you for allowing yourself to be affected by others. So do the same to them.
I love autistic counterculture ❤️ ✊
As they would say, fuck their feelings
I'm in this picture and I don't like it
To my observation, the allistic experience is to do the same thing except 1) you simply are immune to self-awareness and 2) the autistic people in your life are interested in hearing about whatever, or they let you know they're not
That would make every boomer dad nd
