What certs can i do to get into a starter cybersecurity job quickly?

Depends on what your experience is now, and what branch of cybersecurity you're most interested in, but get the Google cybersecurity professional cert first. It's cheap and easy. Good starting point.

I recommend Hack The Box for actual learning. Their certs aren't well recognized by HR teams, but the engineers know.

The good ones for HR are gonna be CISA, CISM, Security+, Linux+, CISSP, OSEP, OSCP...

Forewarning, some of these are very difficult and expensive. Do a little research on em and take some practice tests.

CISM and CISSP here.

For entry level, stick to hands on qualifications like sec+ and pentest+. Apply to large firms, and be mindful of the career path you want to follow (such as security engineering, secops, governance/audit, consulting etc).

Such a good meme haha, keep them coming!

Hack a lesser nation-state and live to tell about it

First of all you should join the community of hackers over at LHC https://lonelyhackers.club/.

Im locking the thread due to it not being a meme but good luck padawan.

What do you already know? Ideally you have a lot of hands on IT experience and skills.

All else being equal Security+ would be good.