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chapotraphouse @hexbear.net CDommunist [they/them, comrade/them] @hexbear.net 2 wk. ago

Pick 1. You will receive a stack of 100 pills

60 comments

I take every single red pill at once and shutdown Amazon s3 services for 1500 seconds. That should be fun.
- better yet, take one pill every few minutes or so you fuck them over on and off for much longer. a 15 second outage probably takes a lot of systems serious recovery time and causes data loss
  
  better yet cut each pill into 7 or 8 pieces so you have 750 pills that shut it down for 2 seconds. take one every few minutes a couple dozen times a day for the next month until amazon goes bankrupt and many lines go down
  
  AWS is widespread enough that this would likely kill people. Medical solutions having AWS infra alone could do it.
I choose a stack of red pills. I make a list of websites owned by wealthy companies with high uptime metrics, and I start taking the first few red pills. After the website has been down for a brief time, I send a ransom note demanding bitcoin payment or else I threaten to take the website off-line indefinitely and demonstrating my power in 15 second intervals at scheduled times. Collect ransom payments and live a life of luxury. Also works with core websites upon which the military industrial complex relies. They don’t know I only have 100 pills.
Instacum pill. Present myself as an eccentric inventor-chemist to get investor backing using a portion of the pills to prove my claims. Reap tons of VC funding for an industry-disrupting invention. Use some of that funding to try to reverse engineer the pill via mass spectrometry and all that. If it works, great! I now have a big business with which to fund global communism. If not, I can probably still vibe by saying the formula has unexpected side effects and shut things down. even if the company goes bankrupt I'd still have whatever I paid myself as a salary. Worst case scenario I could fuck off to a country that won't extradite me

Basically Theranosmaxxing
- just don't lose yourself to the billionaire brain virus on your way to build communism by scamming VC money
Take all 100 green pills

Just fucking turn into a mummy instantly after committing my 24 hour crime spree
- Imagine you just finished robbing a bank and you bust so hard that you blast off into the distance and nobody ever finds you again like a spooge-powered DB Cooper
  
  Looks like Flakes Bongler is blas- immediately dies of dehydration
  
  Tagline
grey pill so I can HONK SHOO while a feather is kept afloat by my own breath
Shut down a website for 15 seconds, get fired with cause. Snore like a cartoon tonight. Receive 1 orange mailed to you. Estrogen, cum instantly, cum in 24 hours.

That seems just like an average day for someone.
gimme da gril pil
HOOOONNNNNNKKKKKKKSSSSHHHhhhhhh mimimimimimimi
- sleep number adjustable bed for snoring
  
  Sawing lumber like a cartoon
- Obstructive sleep apnea, now in convenient pill form
"receive"??? is this some type of pill that I'm insufficiently horny on main to understand??
If the receive pill is what I think it is
black and red pill are both probably the most powerful for self interested ends, but the orange pill and grey pills allow for the most reality bending of situations.

I'd probably go for the black pill, make good documentation of working somewhere and making no mistakes, then trying to sue the company that fired me if I can find a reason to.

If I were much braver, I could use the Red Pill to act as a technoprophet or to blackmail large portions of the tech industry (they just have to believe I can permanently black them out on command, the fact that I only have 100 of them is more than enough to make them believe it), but alas, I am not nearly brave enough to try and pull a stunt like that.
What kind of orange?
- Stupid big orange ones. Hard to peel and just not fun. Don’t take that pill.
- Your choice
  
  Oh tight definitely the orange one then
🥺
estrogen
- Warning: roughly 60% of the pink pill is metabolized by your liver, so the efficacy is kind of meh and not really adequate for monotherapy
  
  Is that why we also take androgen blockers?
Pink, but only so I can pass it off to someone else that needs it.
Grey pills. Take that insomnia.
You've heard of the kids who dosed their teacher with LSD but what does the mean English teacher do when he gets a yellow pill in his coffee every morning at school
- Probably develop some weird fucking kink by conditioning
- The pill's effect works on the coffee, not the teacher, and the bewildered teacher is wondering why his coffee sets off his hayfever
All I know is that your mom definitely doesn't need the yellow pill. I'm already able to supply that to her.

(Grey Pill is the clear winner for me, though.)
grey pill

put it in the dog's food bowl with dinner heehee
Grey Pill ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
If I take all 100 grey pills at once, does that mean I snore like a cartoon for 100 nights or do I get to be some kind of natural disaster?
- This kills the crab.
- Imagine like vacuum would conduct sound waves and we got to hear the sun. From very near.
Red and I'm causing the Seattle suicide rate to skyrocket by periodic full AWS outages.
No pill to instantly die? Pass.
- Take all 100 cum in 24 hours pills at once and start a timer
  
  You know, if I'm gonna be offing myself, might as well have fun eh?
- There should be one that upon entering your mouth the one hundredth kills you.
Question: does the red pill work on the mainframe servers powering the New York Stock Exchange?
Grey pill I need some good sleep like nothing else
Since it doesn't stipulate that it has to be me taking them: Those black pills seem useful to give to some powerful people.
red pill onto chapo.chat
- Yellow pill onto all chapo.chat users

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