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There's a man on my train this morning, and he's listening to stuff out loud on his phone, like fully out loud, not even slightly subtle. The train is in Britain. He keeps listening to 5 seconds of an annoying song, then switching to another song. It sort of sounds like kids TV music. He appears dressed to go work in a fancy office or something, and this is a morning commuter train, so I don't think he's escaped from a prison or mental hospital.

Anyway, amongst myself and another couple of hundred quiet passengers, we've tried everything:

• tutting and rolling our eyes
• harrumphing, whingeing and sighing
• when a bloke got on the train with headphones on, someone said loudly "Isn't it great when someone wears headphones? They can listen to whatever they like and nobody else has to hear it"
• sometimes it stops for a minute, and there's a widespread muttering of "Ooh, thank god that's over with"
• followed by an en-masse groan when it starts again "Oh no, not this again!"
• a lady on