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What are things considered romantic, to be avoided in a relationship?
  • You are in the wrong on many fronts. Including that information in the OP is a good idea so the bigger picture is understood.

    Your friend has very clear romantic interest in you and likely has for a while, she doesn't respect your relationship with your girlfriend, and she doesn't want to give up trying to steal you from your girlfriend. Until she can respect your relationship, you should not be alone with her. Even if you didn't consider going to the beach with her a date, she was trying to take you on a date. By trying to be her friend, you are probably leading her on and she probably thinks the attention you are giving her is an indication that you have romantic interest in her that is held back by your current relationship. She probably thinks that being persistent and pushing or overstepping the platonic line will be rewarded. If you have no interest in her, she needs to know that.

    Your girlfriend's issues related to being cheated on need to be considered. She should be working on that, but you need to work with her on that by being open and honest to build trust because she doesn't trust you. If she doesn't know the whole story between you and your friend, you need to tell your girlfriend everything. Understand that your girlfriend probably is paranoid that you are going to cheat on her like that other guy and she may constantly be looking for signs that you are or will cheat on her because she probably looked at the last relationship for signs that she missed and is applying that to your relationship. If the two of you don't work on her infidelity concerns, it will drive a wedge between the two of you and lead to the relationship failing even if everything else in the relationship is fantastic. It isn't fair to you for her to suspect you might cheat on her just because some other guy did, but your history with your friend has given your girlfriend plenty of cause to be suspicious of you.

    You also should be thinking about what is best for you. There are two women that want to be with you and one might be better than the other, even if that isn't your girlfriend. Staying with the wrong person isn't fair to 3 people.

  • I'm so sick of every single medical-related question people have online constantly getting spammed with 'talk to your doctor!!!!'
  • "I have had a dry cough for the past few months." Can mean all sorts of things. Random speculation from somebody working off of very limited information can lead someone to try a "cure" that masks or exacerbates an otherwise treatable or eventually deadly condition.

    There is a reason doctors have to go through so much school and gain so much experience before they become an "actual doctor".

    Do you have a 10cm mass in your right lung, or do you have allergies? A doctor visit can tell you if your cough can be treated with medication or surgery and chemo that you will die without.

    I am not someone who likes to go to the doctor if I know that I can't treat myself, but you can be damn sure I will not ask the internet if it is something I have no idea about.

    I'd love it if healthcare was top of the line and free as air, but that is not the world we live in and people giving people medical advice with an unknown level of expertise and next to no empirical evidence of a diagnosis gets people killed or harmed. Let the information doctors have be freely available for people to use as they see fit for their personal use and all medication be cheap as dirt, but medical advice should only come from a licensed doctor that is qualified to practice medicine and not some stranger on the internet that barely has the experience and ability to treat a simple laceration.

  • Any recommendations a two person backpacking tent? Preferably one during this REI sale?
  • You will ideally be splitting the weight between the two of you, but most of the weight will be in the tent body so you will probably have 3lbs of tent and your partner will have the rest. 3lbs for a shelter is pretty good.

    Backpacking weight is a big deal because it is far more miserable to hike 5 miles a day for 5 days with 40lbs than that same distance with 20lbs. If you are only going a mile or two a day for two days, then weight can be higher, but you will pay for it if you aren't conditioned for it. Now add the consideration that your lady will be introduced to backpacking with whatever gear she has to carry. If she has a miserable time because of the weight and distance, she will be less likely to want to go again.

    Going lighter is always better, except for your wallet. First time backpacking I had close to 35lbs of gear dry and spent like $200 on everything, miserable. The second time I had $400 worth of gear at 25lbs dry, wasn't that bad. By the 3rd time I had about $800 worth of gear with a 20lbs dry weight and had a great time. Now my pack is about 15lbs dry with the luxury of a camp chair and wish I could use my $1,000 worth of gear more than maybe once year lol.

    The month leading up to the trip the two of you should take a few progressively longer hikes on a nice flat trail with your full pack including water and simulated food weight. You will learn what you need to adjust on your packs, condition your bodies some, and learn what gear you need to change for lighter/better stuff.

  • What are things considered romantic, to be avoided in a relationship?
  • Literally anything can be romantic, but watching the sunset on the beach is a prime example of a classic romantic activity, but that does not mean you can't watch a sunset on the beach platonically. What makes a situation romantic is if there is romance. Getting dressed up and going out for dinner for two at a nice restaurant can be romantic or just dinner with a friend at a nice place. Going thrift store shopping can be romantic, or just a fun time with a friend. I would look up some "romantic date ideas" to get a rough idea of romantic themes to inform you better.

    Some people expect their partner to make their birthday all about them, that can lessen with age. Not devoting your entire day to your partner on their birthday may be the problem.

    If your partner feels there is potential for some sort of romantic involvement with this friend, perceived or real, then you need to talk with them and understand if they know or believe something you don't or if they feel insecure and if there is a lack of trust.

    If you didn't tell them what you planned to do, that may be the problem. If you had to ask permission, that isn't healthy in a relationship. Asking them how they feel about you going and making your decision to go, counting their opinion, is wise but understand that you should be able to go do things with your friends and you shouldn't have to ask permission.

    If they wanted to go because that sounded like fun and you didn't try to invite them on their birthday, that may be the problem. Just inviting them to come with isn't fair to your friend that wanted to hang out with you and not feel like a 3rd wheel and divide your attention. You can always make plans with your partner on another day and respect the time you have with them and friends.

    There are a lot of aspects of this situation that can be why your partner is upset, and it may not be the activity itself. You have to sit down with them and talk to them so you understand their position, they understand your position, and the two of you can come to an understanding and know what may need work in the relationship.

  • How should I feel about a dying parent who's worthless?
  • Our parents are who the people they are. Yes, they brought us into this world and we owe our existence to them, but they have/had a responsibility to us.

    We are who we are because of them, for better or worse. Who we are is because of who we became due to their influence. If they were the best parents and served our best interests, or the worst and failed us, they are still our parents.

    We don't have to forgive them, we don't have to love them, we don't have to respect them, we only have to acknowledge them for how we turned out and that doesn't depend on how good or bad they were. If you are a good person, or aren't who you feel you should be, be greatful for their reference point.

    Bad or good are just subjective references to something else, how you feel about something or someone is up to you. We don't know your life, we don't know your parents, and we can't decide how you should feel because we can't tell you how you should feel about them.

    You have to live with what you feel about them, do and act as you feel you should, and be validated in knowing that being better than your worst instincts makes you better than most.

    You are your own person, be the best person you can be and act accordingly.

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