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Lemmy, how do you deal with heartbreak?
  • OK this is gonna be a long one. And it's not even mine. The original point of what I'm about to post was about losing loved ones to death, but in my lowest parts of dealing with my divorce I found these words very helpful. One of the few good things to come out of reddit. Credit to reddit user GSnow. Here goes.

    Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.

    I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

    As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

    In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

    Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

    Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

    • /u/GSnow
  • Trump claims credit for Biden’s insulin price cap
  • So when proven wrong, rather than defend your point - you change the argument to both sides are the same? You have to see how disingenuous that makes you look. It's arguing in bad faith it's why people laugh at you and don't take you seriously.

  • Trump claims credit for Biden’s insulin price cap
  • So when proven wrong, rather than defend your point - you change the argument to both sides are the same? You have to see how disingenuous that makes you look. It's arguing in bad faith it's why people laugh at you and don't take you seriously.

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    Wearing a uniform daily and not having to choose what to wear is great. Society should encourage more uniforms.
  • I worked at an agency that had one of the execs always wear black. Same thought process, it eliminates a thought process better spent used elsewhere - or so implied.

    Reality is society tends to frown on automatons and when you have no personal style you come off as a robot.

  • Did ad blockers survive YouTube's offensive? Letting numbers talk
  • YouTube slowing itself down to unusable made me write a local extension that takes any YouTube watch link and opens it in yewtu.be my life has been better since. Fuck you tube's stance. You're gonna make the experience terrible I'll watch your content via another client.

  • I've lost it all and I don't know how to handle it
  • Microsoft just fired like 1100 employees from the Blizzard/Activision section. Google just laid off a few weeks ago. Amazon just laid off a bunch of Twitch workers a few weeks ago.

    shit.... haven't been paying attention then. damn. good call- i stand corrected. i thought there was a slight uptick in jobs but i guess that was leading up to the fall.

    why does q4-q1 always suck in this industry? oh yea ... gotta show profitability for taxes. right.

  • I've lost it all and I don't know how to handle it
  • I was unemployed for nearly a year recently. IT work is inundated with talent pool bc of the FAANG downsizing about a year ago. . It's coming back but slowly.

    Sounds like you're depressed which has the awesome side effect of altering how you would typically approach and perform in an interview - not in an ideal way. Being cognizant of that may help. Maybe you're not but I know when I had the numbers you're talking about sending resumes etc, I was pretty down. Each rejection took a little toll. Maybe try changing your resume up a bit, and practice soft skills for interviewing? Might help take time away from feeling bad about it-which I get.

  • Judge Threatens to Put Trump Lawyer Alina Habba 'in the Lockup' at E. Jean Carroll Trial
  • Oh, I'm not certain she doesn't understand. Performative art. She got used to performing in a way her main audience (mango mussolini et al) enjoyed in the no jury case, with state level Judge Engoran - that she thinks she can use the same tricks that make him smile on a federal judge.

    To me this is hubris, not ignorance. To be clear there is a fair bit of both, but thus is show work not trial work.

    Her inability to properly file evidence is her ignorance. Sass is for show imo.

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    DefiantBidet @lemmy.world
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