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Love the effort to protect the dog's privacy.
He would log good in a hood, doncha think?
Today I learned I'm unintentionally preparing for the Internet apocalypse.
And the gargling too
So the numbers are actually quite a bit lower. All news agencies fluff their numbers, until tax time.
I'd modify it a bit:
"Affluent power couple, found alive in their love nest, referred to as a Mar-a-Lago. They were confirmed alive by an infrequent visitor, Melania who stopped by to pick up 3 inches of shopping cash. "