When someone is abusive or hurtful to you, 90% of the time it's not your fault. It's that there is something wrong or something broken in them. They are malfunctioning and it's necessary to understand that.

The other 10%.... Well, own that and fix your mistake.

But a very large majority of the time, it's them being broken and wrong.

This is a really great answer. Concise, listed, and checks all the boxes. Kudos.