Lost_My_Mind @ Lost_My_Mind @lemmy.world Posts 137Comments 6,522Joined 10 mo. ago
Most of the times I swing and miss with a joke, the other person just doesn't connect with my humor. Instead of being offended, I find they're just confused by what just happened.
For example, I had a joke I found funny, but apperently I'm the only one who finds it funny.
See, what you do is.......you go to a place that wouldn't have mustard, like a bus stop. And you ask
Uhhhh.....where's the mustard?
And they say something that indicates they don't know, or there isn't any. And you say
Oh, ok. Sorry.
I find that joke hilarious. Nobody else gets it. But they aren't offended.....
Because punch them in the face. That's how you stop that behavior.
Oh, did I punch you in the face? It was just a joke!
And suddenly they think twice about being an asshole.
Ew. We have a tesla dealership here? Ew.
Quick! Somebody watch old Mr Magoo tapes! Maybe there's something in there we missed where Mr Magoo unknowingly plots a coup on the capitol building, or tries to downplay a global pandemic in real time as the director of health completely contradicts literally everything he says, as he says it, on national television while she's standing right next to him, or maybe Mr Magoo........aw fuck it. Mr Magoo didn't do any of this stuff! He was an innocent old man who had zero self awareness. Trump is just an evil man who's intentionally doing this. Now we gotta figure out how he's getting away with this. It's like last night when I was playing Legend Bowl watching a CPU vs CPU game of Cincinnati vs Chicago. Everytime Cincinnati had the ball it was the same play. Get your blockers in place, quarterback backs up, delaying the blitz, waits until the blitzers are closing in, and then drops a long bomb like 40 yards downfield to a wide open reciever. Whys he wide open? Because Chicago is blitzing with everything they've got. But the blitz never sacks, because the quarterback gets space, delays the blitz, teases them, and then gets the pass off in time. And yet every play Chicago blitzs. Yet Chicago never figured out how to contain the passing game.
Well it's like that. The democrats have to figure out what to do to get consequences to stick to trump. Except instead of a blitz, the democrats are doing a different stratagy. They're just kind of sitting around doing nothing, and wondering why the republicans keep taking ground.
pokes the democrats with a stick
C'mon....do something.....
Well that's just not true....
We talk about how much better the world would be without cars. That qualifies as car talk, right?
I'm so confused. How would quoting someone's words bully them? Maybe I'm not getting something. You're talking like I say something on mastodon, you quote what I said, with me attributed to the quote, and that bullys me? Or am I missing something? I feel like I'm missing something.
Ok......why not just register https://www.luigimangione.info/
Am I the only one who's hearing someone withdraw money from the ATM machine?
sigh
If you come into my home, you will see Nintendo memorbilia. Set up as a display of sorts. Theres amiibo, stuffed animals, pez dispensers, coins, ect ect ect.
Clearly I love the games, and the worlds that Nintendo puts out. I'm 41. I've loved these things since I was in diapers probably.
That being said....
Fuck you Nintendo! You court trolling, abusive legal bully! You treat the world like everybody owes you everything! We don't owe you jack shit! You own Nintendo properties. Nothing more, you lawyer infestered shitbags!
Oh, I'M not. I just stopped buying.
Buying what? Yeah. I just stopped buying. Altogether.
See, I don't know where I fall on this list. Because I'm angry everyday, but I'm also pretty stupid. Then I see how stupid OTHER people are.
Like I'm over here wondering if the universe is infinate, how is it expanding? Doesn't that negate the concept of it being infinite? Or, if it's not infinite, but it is expanding, doesn't that suggest that the galaxy is, in perspective, very very young? We've found other planets that can support life. We have no evidence that life is on those planets. I'm willing to bet there IS life on those planets. It may be microscopic, and maybe it's still in the water, but I bet it's there. Which then raises the obvious question which we have no way in our lifetimes to accurately answer. Will those planets generate a naturally evolved set of humans completely unrelated to earths humans? I mean, logic says no, right? Theres so many variables, that they would evolve to cater to the needs of their planet. Right?
Then I see guys get on the bus, and rummage through the trash can, and yell "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE THROW OUT GOLD OR DIAMONDS, OR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS???"
That is a true story. I saw that.
And I wonder to myself, am I as stupid as I think? Is the whole scale slanted? I feel smarter than those around me.....but I also feel like those around me are a few brain cells away from being medically classified as mentally retarded. So it doesn't feel like I've cleared an especially high hurdle there.
But we all know the government lies to us. If they DO know of another life form out there, would they even tell us? I don't think so. That makes me angry, because I know we don't have the technology to visit those planets. They're hundreds of light years away.
So realistically, we would have to start development on a transportation method that travels hundreds of thousands times faster than the speed of light to be able to get there with any realistic time frames. Nobody is going to sit on a space ship traveling for 4 years straight. But that kind of speed in an astroid filled space, with rocks just floating about? You'd have no ability to fly that fast. Any crash would be lethal, and it would happen virtually instantly if you're traveling like 400,000x the speed of light.
So what did we do before here on earth when traveling long dangerous distances? We built permanent solutions that are still in place today, hundreds of years later. Train tracks!
YES!!!! LETS BUILD BULLET SPACE TRAINS!!!! AWWWW YEAH!!!
In space, nobody can hear you choo choo motherfucker!
Whatchu talkin bout willis?
Please......show this to The Onion. Let The Onion post some updates.......it's their ultimate wet fantasy.
10 years? More like 200 years!
You don't think you could live in a $70,000 house, that's fully paid off, with $1,500 a month?
Oh, they don't care about that. That's not an issue to them.
I'm going to use this on my neice this summer!
Hehehehe, I hope I remember this 5 months from now.
"Hello, spotify? I'd like to cancel.......well because you don't know what words mean."