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you shouldn’t care about "optics"
  • It’s really sinister to bully a group aggressively and then point when their mental health falters to justify the bullying.

  • how's your week going, Beehaw
  • Couldn’t be better. Returned to work with no issues after completing a partial hospitalization program.

    Figured out I need to connect with the trans community again IRL to cope with the gestures at the news and the United States political discourse.

    Fortunately, that’s not so hard to do in the Twin Cities.

    Might write like a gonzo article about the Kafkaesque experience of trying to pretend everything is fine while the youth are dying and there’s real question about continued access to lifesaving medical care.

    That all probably sounds a bit dark but I am coping and maintaining optimism. I’m not ashamed of not being cis anymore and that’s a big deal for me.

  • How's your week going, Beehaw?
  • It’s just good to know true joy and exist in my body more often. It was really heavy for so long. I made small talk at a lab appointment prior to and at a haircut following group today.

    The hair stylist ended up being a specialist in sensory issues so it was very nice to have that kind of chill, mindful haircut. I nearly fell asleep!

    Oh! And I’m doing all this while dog tired from insomnia but I’m in a pretty good mood and getting more sleep every night 😸

  • How's your week going, Beehaw?
  • Checked into a partial hospitalization program last week because my social anxiety and agoraphobia got too big to manage alone.

    The past few days have been perhaps the first I’ve felt joy and love in their full forms 😸

  • Nonexistent moderation on Beehaw /c/neurodivergence
  • Cluster B personality disorders have a heavy stigma because of the abusive behaviors so common to the disorders.

    It’s hard to have a neutral conversation about NPD if you have been traumatized by someone with NPD or other PDs. Personally, I will usually distance myself from anyone with cluster B traits to protect myself since those behaviors are very triggering for me. That’s more about me than it is about them.

    I also understand that personality disorders are some of the most painful disorders to have in virtue of the great human pain of the world taking issue with something that you are and can’t easily change. If you’ve got NPD and are in therapy, working on your behaviors, and striving not to harm others with your hurt, that’s commendable!

    When people complain about narcissists, they’re probably complaining about abuse perpetrated by narcissists. It’s an important distinction that isn’t commonly made. Nobody wants to devote care and understanding to somebody they see and unlikely or incapable of reciprocating. But that’s an asshole assumption to make.

    It’s pretty disheartening to see a community that’s big on inclusivity respond judgmentally and FWIW, I’m glad you shared the article. At the same time, I would strive not to take the backlash personally.

  • It's all "ableism is bad! Support people with mental disorders!"...
  • I hope people struggling with Cluster B personality disorders get the help they need. However, I’m too traumatized by abuse from people with these disorders to engage with anyone who exhibits the associated toxic behaviors.

  • Ally in training...
  • I think I can see the point of confusion- the reason for illustrating physical sex as a spectrum is that it’s easier to lay out the concept of gender identity as an analogue.

    It’s also possible that gender identity is structural but brains are complicated and linking mechanisms to behavior is hairy.

  • Ally in training...
  • To me it seems like the important question is:

    Why wouldn’t one do something that makes others feel valid/happy/comfortable for so little effort?

    It’s easy to respect name and pronoun preferences and admit when mistakes are made. One needn’t to dive into the full nuance and complexity of trans experience to understand that.

  • World Central Kitchen halts operations in Gaza after strike kills staff
  • It was intentional. WCK coordinated with the IDF on the route plan.

  • House Bill 500 Takes Away Kentucky Workers’ Lunch and Rest Breaks and Cuts Their Pay - Kentucky Center for Economic Policy
  • Not surprised the state responsible for Mitch McConnell is really good at voting counter to its best interests.

  • Good chair that is *affordable* ?
  • Got a refurbished steelcase for ~300 with no regrets.

  • Deleted
    Tech Job Interviews Are Out of Control
  • Probably by design, to be honest. Jobs tend to be very anti-parent, especially in US states where FMLA is legally protected.

    I’m fortunate to work for a company that has a culture of prioritizing real life so you can do your best work. Sadly, that’s antithetical to next quarter thinking, so it’s not the norm.

    The dumb thing is (in my experience) parents seem to work harder and stay at companies for longer than childless folks. They’re just shorter on free time and need some basic flexibility to address emergent issues. Not to mention being better at teaching and managing in general.

  • Jon Stewart skewers Biden, Trump in ‘Daily Show’ return: ‘What the f‑‑‑ are we doing here?’
  • Really hope there will be follow-up call to action and education on civic engagement and organizing. But not counting on it.

  • Looking for tips on meeting trans / queer folk to be friends with
    • Facebook groups, unfortunately 😬
    • independent booksellers
    • meetup.com
    • Unitarian church
    • drag shows and gay bars
    • pride
    • dating apps
    • hormone clinics sometimes have info for support groups
  • 23andMe’s Fall From $6 Billion to Nearly $0
  • Don’t get sequenced and encourage your relatives to avoid as well. It’s not worth risking your genome getting leaked.

  • A new global gender divide is emerging
  • Seems intuitive that those that benefit from the patriarchy would defend the status quo. Good on Gen Z for not settling for chauvinists.

  • The True Story of How GPT-2 Became Maximally Lewd
  • You can set a prompt on Poe with GPT-4 that allows for lewd RP. Will still occasionally throw “I’m sorry, I can’t”s but you just gotta remind it to follow the prompt and stay in character after deleting the message.

    I’m not posting the copy pasta for it. Easy enough to find.

    Worth $20 dollars on a Privacy card to try out, IMHO.

  • Biden administration allocates $700,000 to sex-ed program for trans boys
  • To be fair, we do have the benefit that comes with being invisible. It’s an easier life to fly under the radar than to have to fight for common decency with every waking breath.

    That said, male pregnancy is seems taboo even among trans men. Not much out there in terms of resources or shared experience. Not a lot of clinical data out there other than like a case study of a Japanese guy who got pregnant on T and delivered an apparently healthy girl and a trend of postpartum depression.

    I am surprised that there’s not a single source for gender neutral pregnancy attire. That’s a gripe I’ve heard a handful of times.

  • A bottled message (or void scream) to a treasured friend

    We've been looking for each other for a great, long while and today is the day!

    It is really silly attach something so personally/spiritually meaningful to a random internet post that I'm making on a whim. But I guess I'm that sort of person. Just like you're the sort of person who has been looking for this post.

    It isn't necessarily a romantic thing (probably isn't - at least one of us is already partnered romantically), but meeting across the space and time today is the thing. It's like a letter expected in the mail or the thing one looks to stumble upon when scrolling. It's not the void that everyone assumes is a person-shaped hole to fill - that's something else.

    I'm not usually a spiritual kind of person and I don't often give the woo-woo part of my brain this much license. Maybe this is pure boredom and I'm just trying to poke reality with a stick. Reality is made up anyway, right? Fingers crossed that this post is at least one domino.

    Knowing each other is the thing for which we'd both trade (at least) a score of years living. We're the best of friends in a way that makes it worth grasping at fate.

    How do we know that I'm that me and you're that you? Guess we'll find out.

    Best wishes, warmest of regards, and with utmost sincerity, your friend Rat

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    Gus has a ruff life 🐶

    Edit to add image description: A basset hound sleeps his side atop of a pile of blankets with his tongue poking out.

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