The Star Trek cosplayers don’t bother me… it’s the fucking furries. Like no judgement, you do you, but how is a full pink fur suit even slightly on theme?
I’m sorry to hear that. That’s some heavy shit that I won’t pretend to understand, but to answer your question: Nothing. I don’t mean that in a cynical way. Enjoy the “freedom” you’ve been given. The world is a tumultuous place right now, and there are days where I find myself indulging this nihilistic hope/fear that it will all just stop and I won’t need to worry about bills, work, maintaining relationships. Those aren’t necessarily bad things, but they become overwhelming when you look at everything else going on around them. All of that is to say that while I can’t relate to your situation, I understand the way you’ve said you’re processing it.
So enjoy the freedom to do nothing. Go sit in a park or on the beach or by a lake for hours. Or binge watch some great shows. Or power out some of your favorite old games. Or do none of these things! Through this fucked up turn of events, you’ve been given a small gift of absolute freedom (though I understand with the mobility issues that may be easier said than done)
Personally, I’d spend it doing the things I said above and with the people closest to me. You don’t need to spend energy or time finding new things to make you happy. Just focus on the things that you already know do.
As for the hospital/home question, it really depends on the condition. It sounds like the medical system has failed you, and I’m sorry to hear that, but you shouldn’t give up on a chance if there is one. When/if it gets to the point that you’ve been given a diagnosis and it’s just prolonging the inevitable, then it’s time to make that choice. Are 3 more months worth it if you’re confined to a hospital bed? Personally I wouldn’t think so, but again, I’m not in that position and can’t honestly say how I’d react if I were.
I hope you can get the help you need. This internet stranger is sending all the good vibes I can. Keep your head up, your loved ones close, and keep focusing on the good, as you’ve proven quite adept at doing already.