I'll be brutally honest. You're right, it doesn't get easier.
To paraphrase Kara Lawson, you just get better at handling hard stuff.
It sounds like you have a hard time forming habits. That's definitely how they're defined though. Habits are the things we do on autopilot.

As my username suggests, it's not all sunshine and roses. I used to have a habit of drinking and smoking. My typical cycle was that I'd wake up with a hangover and just go to work. Fortunately, that part was all on autopilot. I'd make it through work and do all the normal work crap. Assuming there was no office happy-hour, I would go to the train on autopilot. At this point I'd firmly intend not to buy wine or cigarettes. I meant it, 100%, every time. I'd take the train home and firmly intend to walk right past the liquor store, without stopping. But unfortunately my autopilot habit was just as strong here. Day after day I would just take a slight detour and end up with a pack of Camel lights, a bottle of Marques de Caceres and usually some variety drink, often some Hefeweizen or IPA.

Good habits can be really helpful. Bad habits can suck donkey balls. Changing them can be really hard. I enjoyed reading Atomic Habits and it helped me think about ways to influence my own autopilot behavior. If it makes you feel any better, exercise seems to be one of those habits that a lot of people find difficult. There's a well known phenomenon where gyms completely fill up on January 2 and then empty out around January 15 for the rest of the year.

It sounds like you're doing what you can to make yourself better at the hard stuff. Best of luck, friend.

I will not drink with you today.