jjjalljs @ jjjalljs @ttrpg.network

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3,467

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2 yr. ago

The dating app replaces only the “asking someone out” step, not the actual date itself.

I want to nitpick on this, because I'm told a lot of people use these apps, match, and then never actually ask the other person out. They then are sometimes puzzled why they're not going on dates.

The only thing online dating changes is that people don’t need to take a rejection straight to their face and get embarrassed into never trying again.

It also helps filter out "oh, she doesn't date men", "wow, he's anti-vax", "he doesn't want kids, ever, and i do" kind of stuff. At least, when the app is working and not fully enshittified. That stuff is valuable.

Sorry for the nitpicks. Good post though, thanks.

No one is saying to try to fuck women in public

You are making some wild assumptions about me. At no point did I ever say it was appropriate to engage women who are just living their lives in public. In fact, in the post you're replying to, I said I agreed with you.

Body language has been a part of humanity since before modern humans existed. You can tell, I hope, the difference between a frown and a smile.

What is how you talk to people?

Also I'm not sure how to square "unless they make it clear they want to be bothered" with your rejection of body language and subtlety.

Those are true statements, but seem to be a whole other topic from what we were talking about. You were rejecting the ideas of body language and subtlety by saying that's asking for mind reading and childish.

Every day I hope that someone will shoot everyone working at DOGE, and all the republicans, but people tell me peaceful revolution is actually more effective long term. I don't know if we really have a long term to work with, but that's what I'm told.

I mean, you could make that kind of slippery slope argument about anything. If you let congress pass laws, they might pass any sort of crazy law. If you let your friend grab a drink from your fridge, he might grab anything from your fridge!

We shouldn't be treating this like we're asking for wishes from a malicious genie.

It can be both. The bottom pane is more important, but I think a lot of right wingers have some real animosity in their hearts.

I dated someone for a couple months who was really into cycling. Like, she'd ride from NYC up to Storm King (~75 miles) for funsies. She had the body of a greek god. (Was also super smart and pursuing an interesting career. I'm still sad she dumped me, but she was reasonably kind about it.)

Yeah the tutorial fight isn't a "you should win easy-peasy" like some games. But it's also not like Genichiro in Sekiro where you're supposed to lose. I wonder if GGG published a breakdown of deaths to the boss. I think I cleared him four times on four characters and never died to him, but I also play a lot of this kind of game. (Unlike Musk, who is a fraud)

That's what you get for walking around with 300,000 souls unspent! (meant as a joke, because in text you might read this with actual hostility lol)

No why the fuck would I talk to random people?

Maybe you should ease up on giving advice and making proclamations on how to talk to random people then

My fellow sapient, do you engage with real people in the world? Your position has merit in a "imagine a frictionless, spherical cow for this physics problem" kind of sense, but is absolutely unrelated to the real world of humanity the entire time we've existed, and probably going back to earlier primates as well.

I'm not sure if Trump is exclusively stupid or lying. Probably both.

It's frustrating that his fans will repeat his nonsense.

Not enough people know anything about history.

It's not acting like children. It's acting like adults. Most adults use subtlety for a variety of reasons. Personal safety and letting someone down gently are just two that come to mind.

You can want everyone to have a standard API with nice json output, but that's just not how humans are. Expecting it is folly.

I don't think we can draw conclusions from this without knowing more details about what was in the "good" profile.

If the "good" profile was interesting like "I love extratone and 16th century spanish poetry" I can see why that won't get hits. People can't relate to it. But the matches you do get will be starting in a better position.

Remember how you could search for interests? I'm pretty sure you could just like type in "Final Fantasy" or "Speed Chess" and find people who liked it enough to put it on their profile.

Now it's just a shadow of what it used to be. A crappy tinder knockoff with vestigial profiles.

There are reasons subtlety and body language evolved.

Some men don't take direct "Not interested. Please leave me alone" well. They'll call you a [slur, slur] and maybe get violent. But fake laughter and dead-ending the conversation has lead to safer outcomes.

So, yeah, it sucks people can't be direct and honest, but it's not just coming out of malice.

Also a lot of the time people don't really know what they want, or want contradictory things.

They may want someone to approach them, but for whatever reason not you.

I remember in college being mildly devastated when a friend I had a thing for was talking about how she just wanted to meet someone that (superficially) seemed a lot like me, but then was not into me.

Of course, in retrospect I realized I'd done that to couple women without realizing what was happening.

Every republican megadonor should be shot.