*Lead 2: Plastic Boogaloo

That's not how that meme is meant to be formated. It should say, "I don't always date a dominatrix

but when I do, I never tell her to hit the sack."

Funny though, so take my upvote.

Pop!OS is great and ticks most of your boxes. Although, you'll likely have to read into the battery optimization.

I love the concept, but the delivery seems somewhat lacking. For starters, a higher PPI is a must. I wouldn't enjoy spending hours reading block text.